Our sense of sight is indeed an underappreciated gift we sometimes take for granted. We not only see the world and absorb it through our eyes, but we also store a lot of what we learn and experience by creating a database of pictures and films that we run and re-run over and over again. Think of the last place you went on vacation, your first kiss or the day your employer said: “Great, can you start Monday?” Such memories are stored in our minds, and we can always access them by simply thinking about the experience and focusing on them with the desired intensity. This unfortunately also applies to unpleasant memories. You can be in the middle of traffic thinking about your favourite meal with such focus that you start to salivate and almost smell it. This reiterates that the human mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination.
I recently had a Client who had a severe phobia of spiders, and as soon as I would bring up the subject of spiders, she’d burst into tears of fright. We both knew there was no spider in the room, but her ability to visualise was so sharply tuned, that her imagination overrided common sense and logic. In fact we as humans are exactly like that. We think, we imagine, we visualise and then we act. Our behaviours are seldom governed by sense and logic. The fact of the matter is that our behaviour is dictated by our emotions, which in turn are fuelled by our imagination. A classic stereotypical example is a woman who has credit card debts, and cannot resist the sexy pair of shoes in the window. This also applies to men with a gadget fetish who just have to have the latest gizmo. When we see a nice pair of shoes in a magazine, we create a happy mental picture of ourselves looking sexy and confident as we walk down the street wearing those shoes. The emotions stirred are then so pleasing and intense that we cannot wait to buy the pair of shoes to achieve the mental image we previously created in our mind.
Imagination is such a fundamental driving force that for anything to happen in reality, it must first happen in our imagination and ability to visualize. If you take a moment and look around the room you’re in; every single thing in your room was first created in someone’s imagination. I recently read a wonderful piece of advice that said: “Don’t just see with your eyes, but see through your eyes.”
“I couldn’t see the wood for the trees” is another wonderful saying that brushes up on our visual modality. There are lots and lots of times that we get so caught up in our patterns of thinking that we fail to see other options at our disposal. We only see what’s in front of us and not what’s ahead of us. Time and time again, I’ve had Clients who feel they’re stuck in a rut when in truth the problem lied in their visual perspective. Unsurprisingly, this limited pattern of thinking creates stress, anxiety, lack of direction and feeling confused about what to do when faced with a challenging situation. Furthermore, we end up loosing direction and focus about the overall bigger picture. In other words, “what you see is what you get” and that is entirely dependent on what YOU decide to focus on. We tend to focus on the worse case scenario in fear of it happening, yet the rule of thumb is: whatever you resist, you persist. We visualise what could go wrong, and paralyze ourselves with fear. Sometimes the best thing we can do is also the simplest thing. Since we do visualise and imagine before we take action, it is necessary to zoom out of a current situation in order to get a clearer picture of where we were, where we are and were we wish to go with our lives. As soon as that clarity is gained, our unconscious will begin to shed light on our dilemma and offer a variety of options that we wouldn’t have thought of otherwise. It is only then that we can zoom back in to take the actions needed.
Being in the position I am, I don’t have the luxury or right to tell my Clients what to do. I work under the notion that my Clients already know what they want and how to get it, they’re just unaware of that fact due to their habits and thinking patters. By shifting their perspective ever so slightly through a series of zooming out, zooming in questions, my Clients gain the most paramount cornerstone to constructive change – awareness.
Try This:
Think of something that makes you feel frustrated and unsure of what to do next. Now ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.
- What is the real problem?
- What possible options can I consider that will serve my best interest?
- What is the best option?
- What do I need to do less of?
- What do I need to do more of?
- What do I need to stop doing?
- What do I need to start doing?
These are just a few of the many questions and approaches one can take. The more honest you are with yourself the quicker clarity you’ll gain. Let me also emphasise the importance of doing what you truly want rather than what your society, colleagues or family expects. It is vital that you consider your own interest and well being when making an important decision. A recent Client of mine was very confused about his career options. I simply asked him to describe himself working and being very happy and exited about it. My question was, “don’t tell me what you’re doing; all I want you to do is describe the nature of your work”. Within 10 seconds he began to tell me exactly what he was doing, the type of people he worked with, the hours, right down to the location and industry. We carried on planning and setting little goals for him to undertake to achieve the life he wanted. When we decide from the heart, and understand the reasons why, the “how?” part becomes the easiest.
Sometimes it’s necessary to zoom out in order to zoom back in with the clarity to take the right decision and action. Think of a camera that zooms out to provide the viewer with the bigger picture of what they’re seeing, only to zoom back in with more awareness and understanding.
Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.
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Tel: +44 (0)207 602 5477
taymour@guiding-light.net
