The Power of Belief

June 14, 2010

By definition, a belief is a principle accepted as true or real without proof or concrete evidence. However, a coach’s understanding of a belief is much deeper and different than an average person. A belief is a thought and idea that people do not question – some may not even be aware of them at all. So how on earth do beliefs take shape? How do we believe certain things over others? The answer is quite simple really. Beliefs are shaped by a variety of forces, forces such as our parents and family, religion, socio-economic background, education, the friends we socialize with, teachers, the media and our cultural background to name but a few. What is a belief? Simply a repeated thought that evolves into a belief then manifests itself into behaviour. Phrases such as : All Muslims are terrorists, Oh I’m a terrible presenter, my will power is hopeless, Mondays are always horrible, or I’m a loser are all phrases we pick up from the world around us. The fascinating thing is that the human unconscious mind is like an innocent little child that does not negate – everything it hears gets stored. Don’t believe me ? Try this:

Whatever you do in the next 5 seconds – DO NOT think of a GREEN EGG. Don’t ! Think of anything but a GREEN EGG … .. I’m willing to bet vital parts of my anatomy that you already thought of a GREEN EGG.!

This is how absorbing and uncontrollable your unconscious mind is. Our beliefs are the most powerful force that govern our attitudes, outlook and actions. A belief can be such a powerful thing that it can affect our posture, mannerism, motivation as well as our work performance, and relationships. You may pass by the magazine isle at the supermarket, and your visual mind gets bombarded by images of size 8 women with flawless skin that has been digitally enhanced and air-brushed. Or you may be driving and think of balancing your cheque book, then remember a time in your math class when the teacher embarrassed you with a harsh comment when you answered a question wrong. These two example can sound rather trivial, but if you focus on them long enough, and repeat them to yourself often, you will grow to BELIEVE that the way a beautiful woman must look is like that model on the magazine, and that you cannot add 7+4 ! The really frightening thing is that some beliefs are so strong that they influence our lives to the point of misery. Negative beliefs result in limiting beliefs that greatly influence our potential and performance in a variety of areas, not to mention self-esteem, relationships, stress and ambitions we brush under the rug because we fear failure. Fear of failure (which in my experience is the root of all underachievement) is a sad result of limiting beliefs. We avoid attempting our dreams because we believe we’re not good enough. Going back to my first paragraph, a belief is a principle accepted as true or real without proof or concrete evidence.

Unfortunately, most people are oblivious to their limiting beliefs, they carry on doing the same thing, but expecting different outcomes when the core issue is their own repeated pattern of thinking that governs their actions. This reminds me of a client I once had who for purpose of confidentiality I shall refer to him as Mr. Red. Mr. Red was an extremely educated and well seasoned gentleman who never asked for a raise, nor did he ever strive to earn more than what he deserved. As our sessions progressed, he came to realize that he believed that an abundance of money was not Catholically sound, and that due to his strict religious upbringing he viewed too much money as evil. Naturally, we worked on this limiting belief, and he now views abundance of money as a chance to provide for his loving family, community and the charities he was involved in. He is now much happier with himself, and his abilities.

In a way, beliefs are the little switches in the control room of a huge shipping tanker. If you were to give them a little turn, your destination can change from Miami to Rio De Janeiro. The same applies to ones everyday limiting beliefs, if one is to re-examine them through effective questioning, one can make grand changes to the quality of their lives and their unlimited potential.

In my next article I shall provide you with tools and techniques that can help you evaluate and liberate yourself from your limiting beliefs, and start living a freer life that can bring out your true potential. After all, as George Bernard Shaw once said: “Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself”.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

By Coach Taymour | Posted in Coaching, NLP:Belief, Taymour | Tagged , | Comments off

Changing Your Beliefs

June 14, 2010

We previously looked at how our beliefs are shaped and how powerful our limiting beliefs can be in preventing us from achieving our desired goals. Let us take a closer look at how we pile on these limiting beliefs and how we can get rid of them.

As the old saying goes: “The pen is mightier than the sword” couldn’t be more accurate; words can ignite or extinguish our feelings of guilt, shame, weakness, joy, excitement, love or motivation. Words are a collection of letters that simply formulate a name or meaning. However, the power that words have on our conscious as well as unconscious mind can be quite underestimated. Words such as: Sicily, Mondays or Divorce may have totally different meanings to different people. To some, Sicily may mean a beautiful island with rich history and fantastic food, whereas to someone else – organized crime. Likewise, Mondays may mean the start of the working week and lots of work to some people, but to most hairdressers, it’s their day off. Divorce, may ignite feelings of liberation for some, and to others – heartache. It is our experiences that make us think a certain way. Our experiences include our upbringing, education, social life and even the friends we socialize with. It is our experiences that mould our beliefs into what we are. Our beliefs are the windows we see the world through. Naturally as time goes by, this window gets smudged and may very well influence our outlook on the world we live in. This does not mean that we are not capable of seeing clearly, it simply means that we have the power and capability to cleans our beliefs from time to time.

As a species we are only born with two natural instinct: a) Our reaction to a laude bang (or sound) and b) Our reflex when we fall. Everything else is learned. We learn to adapt to our culture, we learn and develop our values that give weight and importance to different things around us and we also learn to limit ourselves. This limitation is an accumulation of things we hear and see in the world around us that make us feel a certain way. If you’re 14 years old and you come home with an “F” in history, and the immediate comment you hear is: “You stupid lazy idiot” from a parent or sibling ; your unconscious mind will store that and accept it – remember that your unconscious does not negate. Or the way the media systematically bombards you with horrible headlines such as “Woman Stabbed Two Blocks From Her Home ! “ install fear in your heart and drain your gusto for life. We grow to think and behave the way we do because we learn to think and behave the way we do. So when we run into a very insecure man who lacks the confidence to look people in the eye, we have to realize that this man was not born this way. He simply learned that he’s unworthy and small from the world he lives in. He probably was a very loving, happy and positive young man one day, but through his experiences and exposures he simply shrunk into believing his worth. The result of this behaviour is his belief. And as mentioned above, our beliefs take shape based on the outside influences that shape our outlook. Our beliefs dictate how well we perform, interact, grow our businesses and spot opportunities. Ironically, what we believe has a greater affect on us than the truths that surround us, and this is precisely why we see very attractive people who believe that they aren’t. They lose more weight, they have more plastic surgeries and buy the latest fashion in order to convince themselves that they are sexy. All they really need to do is change their beliefs. On the other hand there are lots of extremely confident, charming and well spoken people who have an excellent sense of humour who aren’t necessarily endowed with facial beauty, but they are described as sexy and attractive by their opposite gender.

Our beliefs govern the quality of our lives. It is our beliefs that can propel us into achievements and successes, or hold us back. The great news is that since beliefs are learned, they can be unlearned, and re-learned in new ways. A beliefs can be so powerful that they can actually influence our bodily reactions. Think of Shaolin Monks who lie on sharp spears, think of people with multiple personality disorder who can shift from person to person convincingly using their body, tone of voice and preferences. The power of human potential and limitation lies within the beliefs that they have learned.

Our unconscious has an unbelievable amount of information to deal with every minute – 2,000,000 pieces of information to be exact. As such, it creates filters to sift through all that is coming in, in order to process information more efficiently. Thus the unconscious mind deletes, distorts and generalizes some of the many information that it has to process. So when Mr.X wants to give directions to someone else, he may leave some information out that that Mr.Y might have included, or vice versa – deletion. I recently had client of mine who saw Tom Cruise and was shocked to find him so vertically challenged. Now we all know that Mr. Cruise hadn’t shrunk, my client simply became aware of how she distorted the information that she saw on film. Moreover, If you travel to Greece and have a horrid time, chances are you’ll avoid Greece on your next holidays. Reason being is that your unconscious mind generalizes to protect you from a possible repeat experience. This is exactly why when some people try once or twice and get a bad result, they give up because their unconscious mind associated that task to bad emotions. They simply focused on the short term outcome rather than the goal in mind, or the belief in their vision.

The perspective we use determines the outcome of out actions, and our perspectives can sometimes limit us as they are co-dependent on out beliefs. This brings us back to whether the glass is half full or half empty. Reality is a rather funny thing, as there never really is just one reality. Some may say that London is an overpriced city with rude people and terrible air quality. Others may say that London is a very vibrant city with lots to do and opportunities on tap. It is the reality we choose to focus on that can influence our beliefs either positively or negatively. If I am about to start my own business in London, and start to feed myself contaminated language about the city; chance are that I won’t be very motivated and fired up to get my business very far. On the other hand, if I continually remind myself about the vast opportunities that exist around me, my outlook will shift. Remember, clean language = clean beliefs.

The pre-requisite to identifying one’s limiting belief successfully is honesty with one’s self. To begin with ask yourself what it is you wish to achieve, in other words what’s your goal? It could be anything, whether losing a stone, starting your own business or meeting your targets at your sales job. Write down your goal on a clean sheet of paper. Look at what you’ve written, make sure it’s a realistic goal. What I mean by realistic is that if you’re a restaurant manager today, and your goal is to buy a Beverly Hills mansion in 12 months – chances are you won’t achieve that unless you win the lottery. Keep it realistic and doable. Next, ask yourself the following questions and answer after careful processing and honesty with yourself. Remember, no one is judging your answers, and nor should you. Simply allow the answers to flow and let the awareness occur with ease rather than resentment.

What’s stopping me from achieving this goal ?

Where did this belief come from ?

Who gave you this belief ?

How do you feel about that person? Do you regard them highly and respect them?

What does this belief do for you?

What is this belief costing you?

How will your life be different if you were to let go of this limiting belief?

What concrete evidence do you have to back this belief ?

What is the positive intention behind keeping this limiting belief ?

How else can you satisfy this positive intention without relying on this limiting belief ?

These 10 questions are designed to help identify limiting beliefs and their roots to help you gain the clarity you need in order to understand how you’ve come to believe what you do. Just because you’ve been believing something for years doesn’t make it true, nor should you hold on to it for purposes of habit. It is habit that has been holding you back, and it is habit that nurtures your limiting belief. To achieve this simple change, you must be determined and take the decision to change as quick as you order a Lasagne in a restaurant. A decision can happen in a fraction of a moment and place you on a new path to winning – and “winning always starts with beginning”.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

By Coach Taymour | Posted in NLP:Belief, Taymour | Tagged , , | Comments off

More Brain Juice Please

June 14, 2010

The human brain is such a fascinating and complex organ, that the scientific world is still studying it.  Through the years of research, it has come to light that there are three very important neurochemicals in the brain that help the millions of neurons connect and communicate better so that we can think and process thoughts more efficiently.  These chemicals are serotonin, dopamine and endorphins; what us Neuro Linguistic Programmers call brain juice.  In a recent study, it was found that people who have been diagnosed with clinical depression tend to have low levels of all the three chemicals mentioned above.  Unfortunately, most sad and depressed people end up with increased amounts of Cortisol in their body which can interfere with the function of neurotransmitters.  Excessive Cortisol in your brain can also make it difficult to retrieve long-term memory, in other words the functioning of the brain slows down and becomes polluted.  Some studies have also linked too much Cortisol to the stiffening of the arteries, thus increasing the risk of a heart attack.

Luckily, there is great news.  By incorporating some fun and interesting changes to your daily life, you CAN change how you feel by the chemicals your brain can naturally create.  The brain reacts to the emotions we feel, and some of these emotions are hard wired to the physiological changes we go through.  For example, it is very challenging to think sad thoughts while our posture is upright, or when we put on a huge fake smile.  I won’t be the first to tell you that the mind and body work as one.  Just recall the last time you went for a long walk, a swim or a jog – did you feel down and depressed afterwards ?  Of course not, the simple reason is that your brain produced endorphins during your exercise (endorphins are the bodies natural opiates that make you feel good).

One of the reasons we love eating chocolate or indulge in retail therapy is because such behaviour automatically signals to the brain that you are enjoying yourself, so the brain starts to release serotonin – also known as the happy hormone.  This is precisely why we become chocoholics and shopaholics – our brains create a link to behaviours that make it feel good resulting in a habit that is not always in our best interest.

So here’s what you CAN do in order to improve your life, create better moods and most importantly, manage and perhaps successfully overcome those times when you are in the doldrums.

1)     Start exercising for at least 20 minutes a day.  Exercise does not have to be painful and strenuous, it can be anything from a nice swim, a morning walk to work, using the stairs in stead of the elevator and even making love to your beloved is a form of exercise.   This way you kick start your body and your brain into producing endorphins.  Look at the bright side, you’ll also lose some weight and get fit.

2)     Deliberately force yourself to smile and laugh as often as you can, even if it feels artificial.  You can try sticking smiley faces all around your house, car and work place, so that you’ll remember to smile every time your eye meets these stickers.

3)     Go on a negativity fast by only watching comedy films and sitcoms.  Fish for programs, people, magazine articles and situations that force you to laugh.

4)      Look into your nutrition.  There have been lots of research that link bad nutrition to mood swings and depression.  The latest research shows that a diet with increased fatty acids such as Omega 3 and 6 can contribute to better brain functioning and moods. Do your homework and improve your diet.

By incorporating the above 5 steps into your life for at least 2-3 weeks, you may begin to notice some powerful shifts and changes in how you feel.  In order for the brain to function well, be alert, think fast and connect thoughts more efficiently – it needs the necessary chemicals to help it.  The human body is a magnificent entity that can heal itself though its own ingrained programming.  The key is to use it well by adjusting our lives in order to allow nature to do its magic.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

By Coach Taymour | Posted in Coaching, NLP, Taymour | Tagged , | Comments off

Generation Phobia?

June 14, 2010

Generation Phobia?

By definition, a phobia is an irrational and excessive fear of something or a situation.  As I’ve mentioned before, there are only two instincts that we are born with: 1) Our sudden reaction to a loud BANG, or sound; and 2) Our immediate effort to regain balance when we fall or stumble.  Everything else is learned from our environment, and naturally this includes phobias.

Something that truly amazed me years ago, is when I found out that when the movie Jaws came out in 1975, people who were hundreds of miles away from the ocean were suddenly afraid of taking a bath.  Though it sounds ridiculous, when our unconscious (or imagination) gets infected with overwhelming fear, it generalises that fear and generates it into a phobia as a defence mechanism.  This results in extreme irrational and life altering phobias.  They are considered to be irrational because it all happens in our very creative imagination which is irrelevant to actual reality.  As the old saying goes, imagination is far more powerful than will power.

The great news is that since phobias are learned, they can be unlearned.  Thanks to Neuro Linguistic Programming and Thought Field Therapy, most phobias can be cured today within an hour.  These are two mind technologies that I regularly use, which have had positive life altering results for many of my Clients.  In fact, I recently helped a Client who had a terrible fear of flying and here are her words after her flights:

“Just landed Taymour, the flight was much more pleasurable than usual.  What a difference, thank you !”  [Flying Phobia - outbound]

“Another enjoyable flight, can’t believe it ! Thanks again” [Flying Phobia - inbound]

All that shift in less than an hour.  Here’s what another Client with severe Claustrophobia said after a 20 minute session:

“I was so completely overwhelmed that a problem I had suffered from on a daily basis for 17 years could be cured in 10 minutes.  After leaving you my children had 4 rides in the lift with their mum, something they had never done before Saturday, in their lives!!! I can not thank you enough.”

Times have surely changed, and severe phobias that have held us back from progress and happiness can be cured in an hour.  As recently demonstrated by Paul McKenna on GMTV (whom I assist on his seminars).

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now and free yourself, or a loved one from their phobias.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

By Coach Taymour | Posted in Coaching, NLP, TFT | Tagged , , , , , | Comments off

Frame It Well

June 11, 2010

”A problem well stated is a problem half solved”. Charles Kettering.

One of the quickest and most powerful ways to change a negative pattern of thinking is to change its context in such a way that it becomes comical or even positive. This NLP concept is called Re-Framing. In other words, change the frame and the picture will also change. We hear this all the time in everyday conversation – “Look at the bright side….” Or “Well, at least you don’t have to…..” and “…I know, just bare in mind that it could have been worse.”

The best way I can explain this is to ask you to think of a situation or something that discomforts you slightly. Now, take a few moments and challenge yourself gently to focus on another facet of the situation. A facet that may direct your mind in new avenues that can change your state for the better. A great reminder is the old debate whether the glass is half full or half empty.

I recently had a Client who absolutely and utterly despised her son-in-law. She feels that he is a square peg in the round hole that is her small and close knit family. She passionately expressed her anger at the fact that whenever he comes over for a visit, he eats the meal he is cooked and then he plants himself into her (my Client’s) favourite chair and naps. She then went on and on at her dismay and anxiety about the upcoming Christmas dinner. She was so focused and tense that I immediately resorted to re-framing to change her hard wired thinking.

I smiled and replied: “…..he may sit in your favourite chair and doze off, but at least you don’t have to talk to him which I’m sure is a nice thought for you. Better still, you can hang out with your daughter and your grandchildren by the fire place and have some laughs and have them all to yourself without him interrupting.” Not only did her overall state improve, but she started giggling from the belly and appreciated my point.


It’s very easy to get tangled up into a one way stream of thinking that can ruin your day and prevent you from taking notice of the positive angles, however small, that the situation presents. I can go on and turn this article into an academic and frankly boring explanation, but I’d rather not. Let me finish off with some examples that can help you appreciate what re-framing can do.

1)“I got laid off from work last week.”

“Well, at least you can add the experience to your CV which can make it easier getting a better job.”

2) “Winter’s here and it’s getting cold again”.

“Yeah, it gives us a great change to dress up and look smarter.”

3) “My boss has given me so much work to do this week…”

“Well, he must have a lot of faith in you.”

Thought is energy, and it’s best to change your negative thoughts right away before they turn into words and then actions. You may begin to realise that by re-framing some thoughts in the coming days, you can change your outlook and feel better. 

“Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.”

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Learn how to improve your thought patterns. ”One of the quickest and most powerful ways to change a negative pattern of thinking is to change its context in such a way that it becomes comical or even positive.  This NLP concept is called Re-Framing.”  Read more…
By Coach Taymour | Posted in NLP, Taymour | Tagged , | Comments off

When Panic Attacks

June 11, 2010

Written by : Adrian Brown – A personal development consultant who specialises in eliminating phobias and panic attacks. Adrian is a fully certified Hypnotherapist, a Master Practitioner of NLP, a practitioner of EFT/Emotrance and personal development coach.  Adrian also holds seminars and workshops regularly, and has clients nationally and internationally.

How many times have you heard the term “panic attack”? Over the years the term has increased in usage as more and more people are suffering from overwhelming panic and are being driven to despair. In my client work, I’m often asked “When panic attacks, what’s the defence?”

So what is a panic attack?

Although there are lots of clinical definitions, in client work I’ve heard the term used to describe symptoms ranging from mild anxiety to nauseous hyperventilation. Sometimes leaving the client struggling to breathe, the symptoms spiral on top of themselves creating even more panic.

Often the symptoms cause clients to stay at home, unwilling to leave the house “just in case” they have a panic attack. In their attempt to reduce their symptoms, clients often make things worse by staying within the comfort zone of their home. The thought of going outside becomes fraught with the danger that an episode of panic will overwhelm them.

When I see a client, they often describe me as their last resort, at the end of their tether not knowing what else to do.

So what triggers the panic?

I’ve had clients reporting a diverse spectrum of situations ranging from supermarket queues to traffic lights, all causing panic in one form or another.

Underneath the panic there are many neurological and physiological processes going on, few of which I’m knowledgeable enough or qualified to mention.

The basic flight or flight response comes into play with the body releasing adrenaline in copious amounts to deal with a perceived threat, this overload being the cause of the nauseousness or shaking.

My interest is in the client’s perception of the threat. What is it that causes the release of adrenaline in the first place?

In my approach to the treatment of panic attacks, I often use the NLP technique of eliciting the internal strategy, finding the mental process that the client goes through to produce their panic.

After asking the client what I have to do in my mind to produce the feelings of panic, I am often told exactly what process to go through to produce panic. When I run this strategy through my own head I can usually  get some anxiety going and the whole problem becomes very obvious.

For example, I am often told that in order for the panic to start I would have to ask myself a question like “what would happen if I was suddenly to take ill right now?”.

Since the brain has a very useful habit of answering every question put to it, scary pictures often pop up in the client’s head, followed by bad feelings, which are then reinforced by even scarier questions. This process loops around and around until the client either makes the questions so ridiculous that they stop, or they are distracted by something else. Throughout this process, adrenaline is building up and producing the feelings of panic.

This by no means is the only way people can produce panic but I’ve found it’s a very common one. Merely making a client aware of this process that they often perform in microseconds often results in them getting control of the process. Altering the tone of their questioning internal voice can also short circuit the process well before the adrenaline has flooded the system and the panic is unleashed.

Adding a bit of humour also works a treat, you can’t panic while you’re laughing.

My own personal favourite, which I use when I find myself becoming anxious, is to remember Dad’s Army’s Corporal Jones shouting “Don’t panic Mr. Mainwaring, they don’t like it up em!”. That tends to shift my state!

So you may be reading this thinking well that’s all well and good for other people but that doesn’t sound like me. How true, this doesn’t apply to everyone but we haven’t finished yet.

Meridian Energy Therapy in whatever form its presented can also relieve panic attacks. Thought Field Therapy (TFT) has very high success rates with clients, often used as the first line of approach by therapists. Simply tapping points on energy meridians in a specific sequence can eliminate the panic symptoms and deal with the cause. Any good TFT practitioner is able to quickly and easily run clients through this process.

So there’s hope yet for the panic attack sufferer. If you are presently having any sort of problem with anxiety I highly recommend finding an experienced practitioner of NLP or Meridian Energy Therapy and release yourself from the grip of this very irrational but very real condition.

Copyright : Adrian Brown © 2007

Contact Details:

Adrian Brown ACMA C.P.AMT C.Hyp

www.beyondlimits.co.uk

Tel: 0870 478 9145 or 07908 465772

Email: info@beyondlimits.co.uk

By admin | Posted in Coaching, NLP, TFT | Tagged , , , , , | Comments off

Paul McKenna’s Easy Weight Loss System.

June 11, 2010

Dear Readers,

For those of you who know me, I never brag about anything unless it’s truly worth it.  Paul McKenna’s weight loss system is the finest in the world because it is NOT a diet, but an attitude to food and weight loss.  I’m not just saying this because I’m one of Paul’s assistants, but I’ve genuinely seen the positive shifts it creates in attendees.  We have success case after success case, because it simply works.

It’s a system that I always use with my clients (and of course give credit where credit is due), and it’s incredibly effective because of its simplicity and effectiveness.  So check it out today.

Regards,

Taymour

http://www.paulmckenna.com

* 7 X more effective than any diet.

* Change your relationship with food forever.

* Free yourself from guilt.

* Take control of the way you eat once and for all.

* Eat what you want and when you want it, and still lose weight.

By Coach Taymour | Posted in NLP | Tagged , , , | Comments off