Unfortunately the answer is often no.  There is a horrible truth that we seem to neglect at such a life altering time.  Changes that we may or may not be aware of are happening on many levels.  The arrival of this promising new life brings with it new plans, new responsibilities, essential shifts in the customary way of life, not to mention the biggest shift of all – the mother’s hormone equilibrium which can result in what is commonly known as Post Natal Depression (PND).  PND has been around as long as we can remember it, and we used to arrogantly brush it under the carpet as though it was non-existent – a myth.  Only recently, thanks to more awareness by celebrities such as Brooke Shields, articles, TV interviews, reality shows, the web and woman’s journals, have we come to acknowledge its dark presence.  Bluntly speaking, depression is absolutely terrible.  For the sufferer everything becomes negative, loved ones intolerable, they want to be alone, cry, scream, break things, self harm, withdraw and their minds start to harbour thoughts of detachment and hate.  Mothers with PND can even look at their child and feel absolutely nothing towards them.  In some rare cases, there have been mothers who harm their newborn and even murder them.  Since I now have your attention, it’s only but fair to say that PND is a very serious condition that must be addressed as soon as any of the symptoms arise.

In a simplified nutshell, PND stems from a sudden shift in the hormone levels that affect the chemical balance of the brain.  When a woman is pregnant, her body adjusts in many ways to accommodate the new life she is nurturing inside her.  After birth there’s a quick and abrupt shift in the body’s condition, and the hormonal equilibrium falls out of balance.  The mother then gets a drop in her Serotonin, Dopamine and Endorphin levels and a rise in her Cortisol which research has shown can result in depression.  In times past, “doctors” would have diagnosed madness, and dismissed it as a figment of her imagination.  Thankfully, attitudes have changed these days and options are many.  Though I’m personally not a fan of anti-depressants, in the right situations they are tremendously helpful.  PND is a temporary phase that with the proper care and steps can be overcome.  What anti-depressants do is alter the brain chemistry to correct the imbalances caused by pregnancy and childbirth.

The following are some of the ways to spot Post Natal Depression:

1)    Listen and don’t just hear what the mother says about how she feels.  If she’s abnormally sleepy and tired all the time, it could be a sign of PND.

2)    If the mother seems withdrawn from everyone – especially her loved ones.

3)    If she doesn’t demonstrate much affection or a strong bond with her newborn.

4)    Sudden fluctuations in her overall mood and state.

5)    Crying at the slightest discomfort and being overly emotional.

These are just a few of the many signs that exist, and the more we’re aware, the better we can truly help and correct this delicate period.

It’s important that a physician, clinical therapist or psychiatrist is contacted right away to look at the options available.  In some cases, if the family surrounds her and showers her with love and laughter, this phase can be overcome with more ease. Laughter is crucial as it contributes to the production of serotonin.  Gentle exercise is another important factor to consider, predominantly because it helps the production of endorphins, one of the “happy hormones”.  Exercise needn’t be hard work.  As soon as the new mother feels able, she could take a gentle stroll with her newborn, which would also be a good opportunity to show off the fruits of her “labour”!

Sadly, the recent rise in PND has been linked to our post modern lives of speed, stress and diminishing family unity and closeness.  The excitement and love must not be ceased after 10 days of childbirth, but carried on in shifts for a good six months, if not longer.  The busier the house and more affection around, the easier it will be for the mother to adjust.  Childbirth and motherhood is a very delicate time that must be shared and divided on all the loved ones and not just the mother.  PND can be beaten and defeated, so do keep an open mind to observe any danger signs and act right away.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Helpful Links:

www.pni.org.uk

www.postnataldepression.com

www.mind.org.uk

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

Does it have to be this way?  Frankly, it can be anything you want it to be.  I recently met a very spiritual artist called Tom who told me that he never works in winter.  Instead, he takes time out to relax, hibernate his creativity, and go within himself.  Incidentally, this reminds me of a wonderful quote from Conversations With God by N Walsch: “If you don’t go within, you end up going without.” Tom told me that he spends his winters reading, travelling (great discounted offers) and getting in touch with what inspires him.  He spends this time revving up his mind to give it all he’s got when spring comes along.  I suppose you could say it’s a great way of managing how his mind works best.

We can learn from Tom because if we focus on how we feel and bare in mind what we want, we can always make the most of our time and season.  True the weather isn’t nice and it seems like an eternity until that next pay packet is due, but we can research what we want via the web (as you are right now).  We may not have the disposable income we did in early December, but we can sort our finances with a sound plan for the next 11 months.  This is our chance to go within our hearts and minds to understand what we really want from life.  Create a feasible and realistic plan.  Research whatever we may need to – a spring break, a new job with company X, or even a project we want to undertake once we know more about it.  Winter offers us that so why not benefit from it rather than loathe it.  See it as an opportune time to take stock and plan for a rewarding year ahead.

The Persians celebrate their new year on the 21^st of March because it’s the first day of spring.  A new year with the season that brings new life.  If you think about it, it kind of makes sense really.  If you missed recharging and truly preparing for 2007, the planet and coming seasons still offer you another chance to re-plan your goals.  Why not grab it?

Here are some tips to beat your winter blues:

1-    Take time to give your body what it needs. If it wants rest, listen to it.  If it wants certain foods, give it with moderation.  If it feels like a hot salt bath, then so be it.  Remember, whatever you resist, you persist.

2-    Have a constructive conversation with yourself.  By constructive, I do NOT mean critical and negative laced with guilt.  I mean, find out what you want.  A new career? A new partner? A new hobby?

3-    Research.  Here’s your chance to look into new things to do, and new avenues to explore.  Time and time again I hear people saying: “Yeah, I really should look into that.” And then they never bother – well, don’t think about doing it, just do it!

4-    Mingle and network with new people.  By expanding your social circle, you also sow seeds you can reap in the future.  Someone might know of so and so who’s looking for a new project manager who might be you, or they may have a cousin who’s looking to buy a used car and you want to sell yours.  By socialising more, you open your doors to new opportunities and break the cycle of negative attitude which everyone seems to have.

5-     Travel.  With the winter offers available these days, you can spend a weekend somewhere new doing something you’ve never done before.

6-    Make some extra cash.  I recently met someone who’s a full time secretary and a part time hand model for extra cash.  There are many ways you can earn some extra cash.  Be a film extra, a mystery shopper for a research company, or write an article and have it published in a niche magazine.

There are no right or wrongs to this.  Do what you feel like as long as it’ll help you feel better, happier and busier.  Winter can be as bad or as good as YOU want it to be.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.