Having said all that, there are a number of celebrities one can look at with great respect for their talents and achievements.  When Tom Hanks lost all that weight for his role in Cast Away, or how Tom Cruise overcame his limitations with his severe dyslexia and grew into one of the most talented actors of his time, or Madonna who was unknown in the early eighties and grew to be an icon of trends, fashion and music (and in time a Legend). And let us  not forget the Austrian village boy who chiselled himself into being the governor of the world’s sixth largest economy – yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger.   Such people offer us valuable lessons in self belief and inspire us by defying the challenges and obstacles they’ve come across.  They not only have the self belief to achieve their goals, but the imagination to make it happen as well.

The last forty years has been a fascinating time in the field of psychology, for there has been a lot of research done on what makes some people successful and others not. The core and primary difference between such groups is that successful people look at failures as setbacks and bad results they can learn from.  In other words every single time they fell flat on their face, they bounced right back up and re-attempted their goal.  Failures are simply lessons we can learn from.  Feeling victimized and pitying ones self will merely fuel a destructive pattern of behaviour which will dishearten and hurt you.  Even a success such as Richard Branson once said: “ I have learned more from my failures that my successes ”.

So how did Tom Hanks lose all that weight, how did Madonna keep coming back so successfully and how on earth did Arnold pull that off ?  To answer that we must not look at what they did, but rather at what and how they thought.  Thought is the most powerful energy there is. In fact, as you’re reading this article have a look around the room you’re in; everything began with a single thought.  A single thought is like a spark, it has excellent potential but it does need action as a catalyst to materialize it into great results.  After all, as Anatole France puts it: “The rarest courage is the courage of thought”.

The challenge that many people seem to struggle with is putting thoughts into action.  They want things to happen quick and easy, and this is where it all goes pear shape.  The key is to set the right goals for you and not what others expect from you.  Ultimately “The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important” Michael Neill

Here’s what you need to do:

Firstly, to achieve your goals, you must make sure they complement your personal values.  Your values are simply the fibres of your being and the moral compass that points the way for you.  This is crucial because if there is a clash between your goals and values – you will automatically self-sabotage.

Secondly, create a plan of action that is filled with as many options as you possibly can muster.  The more options you have the higher the probability of success.  Get creative and think of all the possible ways for approach.  Remember, Action = Re-Action

Thirdly, look at a failure as a bad result you can learn from and not the end result.  Remember, if your plans, tactics and strategies are failing – you’re not ! Simply change your approach and stay flexible and committed.  As WF Amos once said: “Commitment lets you know that failure is not failure, but an idea on its way to success”.

Fourthly,  feel responsible and not detached when tackling your goals. Remember, the price of greatness is responsibility, so take it and be methodical in your approach, but make sure you enjoy the process.  You’ll perform better if you do it with heart and optimism.

Finally,  It is much better to aim for a “good enough” result, rather than a “perfect” one. The “good enough” result usually ends up being better than the perfect one, because when we aim at a realistic target, we usually surprise ourselves with the result we achieve.  Note that if you want to run 1000 Kilometres, it is better to run 1 Kilometre a thousand times.  Believe it and you’ll do it.

There is much we can learn from celebrities, how to achieve, how to overcome obstacles and how to enjoy life and have a laugh while working hard at what we’re doing.  Every sub-culture has weaknesses and demons we best avoid;  in this case superficiality and professional lying otherwise known as acting; as well as lessons we can learn from and apply to our own lives.  Lessons such as will power and imagination.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Article first published in Enigma Magazine www.enigma-mag.com

Whether we’re travelling abroad for a short break, or driving twenty minutes to a location that puts us into a state of mental Summer existence i.e. the park or beach; it boils down to one vital  element – ATTITUDE.

Attitude by definition is: a position of the body, manner of carrying oneself or a state of mind or a feeling, and it’s the main ingredient for constructive change in any area of one’s life.  I recently attended a seminar where John LaValle, who’s the President of the Society of NLP, got up to speak.  He said that most people complain to him and say: “John, you have an attitude problem”.  His immediate reply to them is always: “ It’s not that I have an attitude problem, I just have attitude. Go get yourself one”.  Attitude is similar to having a firm and straight iron rod that constantly supports your back.  Your attitude should be your constant source of strength, support and approach to life.  Attitude should be a place where you constantly access positive and helpful thoughts that guide you when facing a challenge.  Even William James said: “A human being can alter his life by altering his attitude”.

If you want to truly enjoy your summer and make the best of it, let your attitude be the pillar that supports your approach to everyday life.  Research has proven that when the mind is relaxed and at ease, the left (logical, mathematical and rational) brain hemisphere and the right (creative, artistic and imaginative) brain hemisphere communicate better, thus allowing the person to come up with fantastic ideas and plans.  How many stressed, tense and bored people do you know who come up with innovative solutions to complex problems – personal or non ?  Chanced are : no one.

As such, being serious, responsible and hard working is equally as important as having fun, laughing, relaxing and enjoying some time out of the usual routine, and Summertime is the ideal time to do this thanks to its slower pace.  So allow yourself  to drift off into your very capable unconscious mind to bring back some of the valuable resources you can benefit from, this can only be done when you let go and enjoy what life has to offer.

Moreover, make sure you don’t corrupt your precious Summer with petty insecurities and social superficialities that lead to competitive tension and stress. This is a time to enjoy and detach from the everyday stressful routine.  Even if you’re not travelling abroad for a vacation, make sure you dedicate at least an afternoon to the sole purpose of relaxing and re-charging those mental and physical batteries.

Finally, I’d like to share with you what Michael Neill refers to as:

The Five Rules of HAPPINESS:

1) If you like something, enjoy it.

2) If you don’t like something – avoid it.

3) If you don’t like something, and you can’t or won’t avoid it – change it.

4) If you don’t like something, and you can’t or won’t change it – accept it.

5) There are no rules for being happy  – just be happy [life is too short].

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Whether we pray, meditate or just talk to God late at night or in the middle of traffic, we are nurturing our spiritual self. Spirituality is about broadening your understanding of the divine, it is about striving for internal self improvement and connecting to God on a personal level that nourishes your soul and strengthens your belief against the darkness that is in constant battle with the light.  What better way to do this than shake off our ignorance that binds us in anger, hate, depression, hopelessness and prejudice.  As the great Sufi Poet, Rumi puts it:

“Love of God is rooted in our knowledge of God.  When did ignorance lead to true love?  Such ignorance is the cause of our banishment and prevents us drawing near to Him”.

Every major religion on this planet has time dedicated to inner reflection, prayer (or meditation) and looking within to find the divine and the inner wisdom that we seek outside.  Every single day we are faced with choices that may seem shrouded in triviality, but the reality is that these choices are important decisions that shape our future, peace of mind, quality of life and conscience.  Even Khalil Gibran once said that: “Your daily life is your temple and your religion”, because it is in the quality of our daily life that we demonstrate our acknowledgement of the divine and make every effort to get closer to him.  The decisions we make, the values we place on moral principles, our interactions with our fellow human beings and how much worth we place on material goods are all reflections of our life message.

As such, taking time out to dedicate some inner contemplation and reflection on how we are living our lives exhibits an effort to nurture our  desire for growth.  According to Susan Jeffers: “If we learn and grow from our mistakes, then they aren’t mistakes”, but mere lessons that contribute to our mental and spiritual evolution.

In an age where our technology has far surpassed our humanity, we must dedicate more time and effort in closing this unfortunate gap by questioning our own perceptions, values and actions.  The formula to self sabotage and inevitable unhappiness  is when we set goals and try to live our lives by disregarding our inner values.  Our values are simply the inner compass that points the way ahead, we just have to check our compass every once in a while to make sure that our everyday life truly reflects our values; for it is through this alignment that we can achieve progress.  Furthermore, we must evaluate our priorities, and since they do change regularly, we may want to adjust our direction here and there to live a more balanced life.  After all, we are not here to suffer and breed pessimism.  We are here to grow on a journey of continuous learning, and as a specie we always learn better when we are positive, hopeful and strong.

If you’re not quite happy with the way the world is, remember that you are an importance cell in this giant organism called the world, and as Mahatma Ghandi eloquently puts it: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”. If you’re upset at world politics for lacking love and compassion – be more loving.  If you’re angry at how superficial societies can be – be genuine.  And if you feel tense about unpleasant outcomes beyond your control – smile with a light heart and let go, because happiness sometimes comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open.

Finally,  let us remember that your spiritual life is also part of your private life.  How you evolve and nurture it is a private matter between you and the divine,  and the stepping stone to any form of growth is intention, because energy always flows in the direction of your intention.

We’re endowed with the gift of free will.  It is in our choices and decisions that we reflect what lies in our hearts.  Let us reflect it well.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

The very first time I ever read a self help book was back in 1990.  I had finished high school, and decided to go on a well earned vacation. How To Win Friends & Influence People (HTWFIP) by Dale Carnegie caught my eye at the airport bookshop.

As I read on my five hour flight, I was captivated like a bear to a jar of honey.  Lapping up page after page, I was intrigued because it was the first book that truly benefited me.  I learned that human communication, once refined, can yield the most powerful results imaginable.  I learned that with a little finesse, tact and lateral thinking, a whole new dimension of understanding and growth can be achieved between you and anyone, from any walk of life.

Though this book can honestly be considered ‘old’ – first published in 1936, its content is timeless.  In fact, most other self help books (coaching, corporate training & positive psychology) written in the last fifteen years seem to repeat some of the techniques in this very book.

This was the first of many books written by Dale Carnegie, and today Dale Carnegie & Associates Inc. is one of the world’s leading corporate training institutions that train its delegates in areas that range from public speaking skills to effective leadership training.

Covering a broad range, this ‘gem’ of a book endows its reader with the fundamental tools and techniques that can enhance interpersonal skills, leadership, influencing skills and most importantly, humility and confidence.

With over 15,000,000 copies sold and still selling, this is a book that is not only sentimentally and practically dear to me, but an icon that has set the benchmark in the field of self help and corporate training.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

In his book, It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be, he not only covers areas that are compatible with advertising, self help, attitude improvement and general motivation; he writes and illustrates in a way that is engaging and fun to read – two ingredients any NLPer out there can appreciate.  It’s a manual on maximising what you have and aiming for what you can achieve.  Its size allows you to keep it in your briefcase and handbag with ease, so that you can come back to it time and time again.  This is not a book you read once and leave aside to mature on a shelf.  It’s a companion that reminds you of the simplicity, logic and creativity that we can use to answer everyday questions and dilemmas.

If you’re a graduate, or a CEO, a coach or just a person who’s lost the wind in their sail – this book can add life changing insight to your perspective.  At an easy 125 pocket sized pages, this is a small gem of a book of priceless value.  Get it !

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

I will not die an unlived life

I will not live in fear of falling

Or of catching fire

I choose to inhabit my days

To allow my living to open me

Making me less afraid

More accessible

To loosen my heart

So that it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise

I choose to risk my significance

To live so that that which comes to me as seed

Goes to the next as blossom

Goes on as fruit.

www.anthonyrobbins.com

There seems to be a parasitical growth in so called fashion, but at the same time diminishing taste and style.  Branding has become an art form in our modern age to saturation point.  Names such as: Tommy Hilfiger, Versace, Armani, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Kline, Moschino and the ever popular Burberrys to name but a few are not necessarily creating stylish fashion in everything they do, yet we want their names on our T-shirts, jeans, socks and underwear.

It doesn’t just stop there I’m afraid.  Brand names don’t seem to give us enough, we now want new noses, breasts, botox injections, “Hip” and “Cool” this, that and the other as well.   Even self-help seminars such as NLP are becoming venues of showing off the new pair of Prada shoes and the recent nose job, yet hardly anyone seems to genuinely grasp the concepts of such courses.

I recently had a beautiful and very tasteful fiftyish year old client who came to see me because she wanted less stress in her life.  Within twenty minutes into the session, she confessed to wanting a face lift.  My immediate reply was: “Perhaps you can try smiling instead of a face lift”.  She lit up with a sincere smile and realised the point I was making.  She had felt so pressured by her peers that she started doubting her natural beauty.  She felt depressed, unimportant and quite isolated.

Remember, other people’s insecurity and self-doubt can be infectious, and before you notice it you can begin to lose you’re inner peace.   The fact of the matter was that my client had a very solid marriage, two wonderful healthy children and an overall well balanced life – not to mention a natural beauty that Catherine Denouve would envy.  Everyone around her was raving about the latest plastic surgery and the new Chopard watch because without realising it, the irony was that her friends were jealous of what she had.  As soon as she became aware of her blessings, she felt more comfortable and began to frown upon the idea of going under the knife.

Yves Saint Laurent once said: “ Fashions fade; but style is eternal”.  Well style is not what you wear, but how you wear what you do.  It is about tastefully combining ingredients of beauty and carrying them with confidence and charisma.  I have seen beautiful people think and behave as though they aren’t and one would hardly notice them; and other times a mediocre looking person may walk into the lobby of a hotel with such radiating confidence and charm that one cannot look away. Beauty is such a subjective and relative concept that it is difficult to have a universal definition for it.  Ultimately, beauty is about what makes you feel good, not what branding experts say.

Moreover, if you constantly look in the mirror and criticise yourself and how you look – no matter how much money you spend on the latest fashion accessory, or surgery – you will always feel low, and such spending will only blanket the true problem of low self-perception. Note that language to your mind is what food is to your body, and it is vital that you nurture yourself internally as well as externally.  If you wear a gorgeous Ben Delisi dress, sprinkle yourself with the finest DeBeers diamonds along with the most popular Beverly Hills nose job, then stand in front of the mirror and say: “Yuk, I don’t like what I see” – What is the point ?  Beauty comes from within, self-worth comes from within and so does confidence.  They are all solid vessels that will carry you well even if you wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.  As the saying goes: “The best vision is insight”, and to find the ultimate element of style one must work from the inside out.

Finally, question what you believe !  Everything you’ve come to believe around you is learned, and they can be unlearned and re-learned in a new and helpful way.  Ultimately we don’t see things as they are, rather as who we are, and it is up to us to create those little changes that will yield big results.  Sophia Lauren who is a true icon of beauty once said: “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful”.  Changing your beliefs about yourself and taking steps to create true and lasting happiness is the key to an internal fashion that will never go out of style.

Until Next Time……….Live, Don’t Just Exist!

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Warren Buffet

Some sound advice from Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Mr. Buffet is a man of substance who allows is level mind to govern his actions rather than his fortune. Mr. Buffet does not carry a mobile phone, nor has a computer on his desk, thus being a master of technology and not its slave.

His advice to young people: ‘Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself, and remember:

A. Money doesn’t create man, but it is the man who created money.

B. Live your life as simple as you are.

C. Don’t do what others say. Just listen to them, but do what makes you feel good.

D. Don’t go on brand name. Wear those things in which you feel comfortable.

E. Don’t waste your money on unnecessary things. Spend on those who really are in need.

F. After all, it’s your life. Why give others the chance to rule it?