The Da Vinci Coach

No.  This article has absolutely nothing to do with Dan Brown’s bestselling novel, nor will it touch upon the divine feminine or debate the divinity of Jesus Christ.  This article is about seven powerful principles of enlightenment by a man who I believe was a divine gift to humanity, as were Mozart, Michelangelo, Newton, Ghandi and Einstein.  Before we delve into the principles, let us get to know more about this enigmatic renaissance figure.

Leonardo Da Vinci was born on 15th April 1452 in Vinci (hence, Da Vinci), a small town outside Florence in Tuscany.  He was not only born a bastard in a very Catholic country, but a dyslexic genius who was a strict vegetarian in a province that is world renowned for it hearty game dishes and rich cuisine.  He loathed war, or any kind of bloodshed, and was most kind and affectionate to animals. He had a quick mind, a sharp eye and made lots of scientific discoveries, yet never really published any of his work.  He was an artist, a scientist, a philosopher and an inventor.  To this day, he is one of the greatest painters of the Italian Renaissance who has left many sketches and diagrams in his wake that still amaze the artistic and scientific thinkers of today.

So how is Da Vinci linked to Coaching and self development?  The answer lies in the Seven Principles of Enlightenment that he left behind.  Translated by Stewart Pearce in blue and elaborated from a self help perspective by yours truly.

I. CURIOSITA:  An insatiable curiosity for life and an unrelenting quest for learning.*

One of the most powerful driving forces that continuously pushes us forward as a species is our innate curiosity in all things.  Most importantly, curiosity in ourselves.  Nothing can help more than self knowledge and the curiosity to explore our strengths and build them to new heights through self education and research into avenues that interest and inspire us.  Every goal needs research and further investigation and a quest for learning will only benefit our path to achieving our goals and dreams.

II. DIMONSTRAZIONE: A commitment to test knowledge through experience and a willingness to make mistakes.*

One of the most important pre-suppositions in NLP is that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.  Because, it is through mistakes that we learn and grow.  Thus, a sense of adventure combined with a willingness to embrace mistakes as valuable lessons will allow us to attempt our goals with a freedom never felt before.  W. Amos once said: “Commitment lets you know that failure is not failure, but an idea on its way to success.”

III. SENSAZIONE: A continual refinement of the senses as a mean to enliven experience.*

Our five senses continuously trigger memories and emotions.  Think of the love song which brings back memories of your fist love.  Think of that swallow of Merlot on your last vacation.  Think of the last time you visualized an outcome that motivated you to work harder.  When you play with your sub-modalities, you can change how you feel because it is through our senses that we alter our feelings.  If you have a goal, you must visualize it, you must re-run it in your mind and fuel it with encouraging internal dialogue to fire up your senses and enliven the quality of your life and performance.

IV. SFUMATO – “Going Up In Smoke”: A willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox and uncertainty.*

Risk is an ingredient every high achiever has used in their concoction of success.  It is through calculated risk that visions are created and dreams accomplished.  The uncertainty of life allows us to exercise faith and trust in the universe and embrace the adventurous journey of life.  “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” - Helen Keller

V. ARTE – SCIENZA:  The development of the balance between art and science or imagination and logic.*

From a coaching perspective, consider the left brain hemisphere which is logical, mathematical and scientific and the right brain hemisphere which is creative, musical and artistic.  By connecting the two hemispheres and enhancing their intercommunication we automatically improve our intelligence and productivity.  In fact, every great thinker in history has always nurtured both sides through a creative hobby such as music and painting.  It is paramount that we cultivate both sides of our minds in order to enlighten our lives and enrich our capabilities.

VI. CORPORALITA: The cultivation of grace, poise and truth.*

Through self- respect, worth, and honesty we can limit our pains and nurture ourselves to altitudes of betterment.  This includes looking after ones bodily and mental health, not just through what we eat and drink, but also through people we socialise with and environments we harbour ourselves in.  When we grow to love and appreciate ourselves as entities that disserve respect and general goodness, we also evolve spiritually.  In other words, our core beliefs and values need to be refined on a regular basis.

VII. CONNESSIONE: A recognition and appreciation of the theory of interconnectedness in all things.*

There is an undeniable connection in life that reaffirms itself through synchronicity and the old theory of cause and effect.  Broadly speaking, think of global warming and its link with green house gases.  On a smaller scale, let’s consider an old Client of mine who was convinced he would never get the promotion because of his ethnic background.  As soon as we successfully worked on this limiting belief, not only did his performance improve at work, but sure enough he got the promotion.  Two months after his promotion, his wife became pregnant and they moved to a quiet family suburb.  He now has a great life and views the world in a totally fresh way.  Action equals reaction, and one reaction will systematically create others.  When we set out to achieve a goal or improve an area of our lives we had neglected, we are further weaving our tapestry of life into new realms that can always be traced back to the root.

Though Da Vinci’s principles of enlightenment are from fifteenth century Florence, their wisdom is timeless and ageless and knows no geographical or cultural boundaries.  We are all now living in another renaissance.  A renaissance of human potential, intellectual growth and creative lateral thinking.  Let us learn from such past wisdom in order to evolve into a promising future as we harness our own minds, bodies and spirits.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

*Translated by Stuart Pearce ©2004 www.thealchemyofvoice.com

Generation Phobia?

Generation Phobia?

By definition, a phobia is an irrational and excessive fear of something or a situation.  As I’ve mentioned before, there are only two instincts that we are born with: 1) Our sudden reaction to a loud BANG, or sound; and 2) Our immediate effort to regain balance when we fall or stumble.  Everything else is learned from our environment, and naturally this includes phobias.

Something that truly amazed me years ago, is when I found out that when the movie Jaws came out in 1975, people who were hundreds of miles away from the ocean were suddenly afraid of taking a bath.  Though it sounds ridiculous, when our unconscious (or imagination) gets infected with overwhelming fear, it generalises that fear and generates it into a phobia as a defence mechanism.  This results in extreme irrational and life altering phobias.  They are considered to be irrational because it all happens in our very creative imagination which is irrelevant to actual reality.  As the old saying goes, imagination is far more powerful than will power.

The great news is that since phobias are learned, they can be unlearned.  Thanks to Neuro Linguistic Programming and Thought Field Therapy, most phobias can be cured today within an hour.  These are two mind technologies that I regularly use, which have had positive life altering results for many of my Clients.  In fact, I recently helped a Client who had a terrible fear of flying and here are her words after her flights:

Just landed Taymour, the flight was much more pleasurable than usual.  What a difference, thank you !”  [Flying Phobia - outbound]

Another enjoyable flight, can’t believe it ! Thanks again” [Flying Phobia - inbound]

All that shift in less than an hour.  Here’s what another Client with severe Claustrophobia said after a 20 minute session:

I was so completely overwhelmed that a problem I had suffered from on a daily basis for 17 years could be cured in 10 minutes.  After leaving you my children had 4 rides in the lift with their mum, something they had never done before Saturday, in their lives!!! I can not thank you enough.”

Times have surely changed, and severe phobias that have held us back from progress and happiness can be cured in an hour.  As recently demonstrated by Paul McKenna on GMTV (whom I assist on his seminars).

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now and free yourself, or a loved one from their phobias.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Revenge Of The Right Brain

Written by : Daniel H. Pink © 2006

First published in Wired Magazine, issue 13.02, Feb. 2005

When I was a kid – growing up in a middle-class family, in the middle of America, in the middle of the 1970s – parents dished out a familiar plate of advice to their children: Get good grades, go to college, and pursue a profession that offers a decent standard of living and perhaps a dollop of prestige. If you were good at math and science, become a doctor. If you were better at English and history, become a lawyer. If blood grossed you out and your verbal skills needed work, become an accountant. Later, as computers appeared on desktops and CEOs on magazine covers, the youngsters who were really good at math and science chose high tech, while others flocked to business school, thinking that success was spelled MBA.

Tax attorneys. Radiologists. Financial analysts. Software engineers. Management guru Peter Drucker gave this cadre of professionals an enduring, if somewhat wonky, name: knowledge workers. These are, he wrote, “people who get paid for putting to work what one learns in school rather than for their physical strength or manual skill.” What distinguished members of this group and enabled them to reap society’s greatest rewards, was their “ability to acquire and to apply theoretical and analytic knowledge.” And any of us could join their ranks. All we had to do was study hard and play by the rules of the meritocratic regime. That was the path to professional success and personal fulfillment.

But a funny thing happened while we were pressing our noses to the grindstone: The world changed. The future no longer belongs to people who can reason with computer-like logic, speed, and precision. It belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind. Today – amid the uncertainties of an economy that has gone from boom to bust to blah – there’s a metaphor that explains what’s going on. And it’s right inside our heads.

Scientists have long known that a neurological Mason-Dixon line cleaves our brains into two regions – the left and right hemispheres. But in the last 10 years, thanks in part to advances in functional magnetic resonance imaging, researchers have begun to identify more precisely how the two sides divide responsibilities. The left hemisphere handles sequence, literalness, and analysis. The right hemisphere, meanwhile, takes care of context, emotional expression, and synthesis. Of course, the human brain, with its 100 billion cells forging 1 quadrillion connections, is breathtakingly complex. The two hemispheres work in concert, and we enlist both sides for nearly everything we do. But the structure of our brains can help explain the contours of our times.

Until recently, the abilities that led to success in school, work, and business were characteristic of the left hemisphere. They were the sorts of linear, logical, analytical talents measured by SATs and deployed by CPAs. Today, those capabilities are still necessary. But they’re no longer sufficient. In a world upended by outsourcing, deluged with data, and choked with choices, the abilities that matter most are now closer in spirit to the specialties of the right hemisphere – artistry, empathy, seeing the big picture, and pursuing the transcendent.

Beneath the nervous clatter of our half-completed decade stirs a slow but seismic shift. The Information Age we all prepared for is ending. Rising in its place is what I call the Conceptual Age, an era in which mastery of abilities that we’ve often overlooked and undervalued marks the fault line between who gets ahead and who falls behind.

To some of you, this shift – from an economy built on the logical, sequential abilities of the Information Age to an economy built on the inventive, empathic abilities of the Conceptual Age – sounds delightful. “You had me at hello!” I can hear the painters and nurses exulting. But to others, this sounds like a crock. “Prove it!” I hear the programmers and lawyers demanding.

OK. To convince you, I’ll explain the reasons for this shift, using the mechanistic language of cause and effect.

The effect: the scales tilting in favor of right brain-style thinking. The causes: Asia, automation, and abundance.

Asia

Few issues today spark more controversy than outsourcing. Those squadrons of white-collar workers in India, the Philippines, and China are scaring the bejesus out of software jockeys across North America and Europe. According to Forrester Research, 1 in 9 jobs in the US information technology industry will move overseas by 2010. And it’s not just tech work. Visit India’s office parks and you’ll see chartered accountants preparing American tax returns, lawyers researching American lawsuits, and radiologists reading CAT scans for US hospitals.

The reality behind the alarm is this: Outsourcing to Asia is overhyped in the short term, but underhyped in the long term. We’re not all going to lose our jobs tomorrow. (The total number of jobs lost to offshoring so far represents less than 1 percent of the US labor force.) But as the cost of communicating with the other side of the globe falls essentially to zero, as India becomes (by 2010) the country with the most English speakers in the world, and as developing nations continue to mint millions of extremely capable knowledge workers, the professional lives of people in the West will change dramatically. If number crunching, chart reading, and code writing can be done for a lot less overseas and delivered to clients instantly via fiber-optic cable, that’s where the work will go.

But these gusts of comparative advantage are blowing away only certain kinds of white-collar jobs – those that can be reduced to a set of rules, routines, and instructions. That’s why narrow left-brain work such as basic computer coding, accounting, legal research, and financial analysis is migrating across the oceans. But that’s also why plenty of opportunities remain for people and companies doing less routine work – programmers who can design entire systems, accountants who serve as life planners, and bankers expert less in the intricacies of Excel than in the art of the deal. Now that foreigners can do left-brain work cheaper, we in the US must do right-brain work better.

Last century, machines proved they could replace human muscle. This century, technologies are proving they can outperform human left brains – they can execute sequential, reductive, computational work better, faster, and more accurately than even those with the highest IQs. (Just ask chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov.)

Consider jobs in financial services. Stockbrokers who merely execute transactions are history. Online trading services and market makers do such work far more efficiently. The brokers who survived have morphed from routine order-takers to less easily replicated advisers, who can understand a client’s broader financial objectives and even the client’s emotions and dreams.

Or take lawyers. Dozens of inexpensive information and advice services are reshaping law practice. At CompleteCase.com, you can get an uncontested divorce for $249, less than a 10th of the cost of a divorce lawyer. Meanwhile, the Web is cracking the information monopoly that has long been the source of many lawyers’ high incomes and professional mystique. Go to USlegalforms.com and you can download – for the price of two movie tickets – fill-in-the-blank wills, contracts, and articles of incorporation that used to reside exclusively on lawyers’ hard drives. Instead of hiring a lawyer for 10 hours to craft a contract, consumers can fill out the form themselves and hire a lawyer for one hour to look it over. Consequently, legal abilities that can’t be digitized – convincing a jury or understanding the subtleties of a negotiation – become more valuable.

Even computer programmers may feel the pinch. “In the old days,” legendary computer scientist Vernor Vinge has said, “anybody with even routine skills could get a job as a programmer. That isn’t true anymore. The routine functions are increasingly being turned over to machines.” The result: As the scut work gets offloaded, engineers will have to master different aptitudes, relying more on creativity than competence.

Any job that can be reduced to a set of rules is at risk. If a $500-a-month accountant in India doesn’t swipe your accounting job, TurboTax will. Now that computers can emulate left-hemisphere skills, we’ll have to rely ever more on our right hemispheres.

Abundance

Our left brains have made us rich. Powered by armies of Drucker’s knowledge workers, the information economy has produced a standard of living that would have been unfathomable in our grandparents’ youth. Their lives were defined by scarcity. Ours are shaped by abundance. Want evidence? Spend five minutes at Best Buy. Or look in your garage. Owning a car used to be a grand American aspiration. Today, there are more automobiles in the US than there are licensed drivers – which means that, on average, everybody who can drive has a car of their own. And if your garage is also piled with excess consumer goods, you’re not alone. Self-storage – a business devoted to housing our extra crap – is now a $17 billion annual industry in the US, nearly double Hollywood’s yearly box office take.

But abundance has produced an ironic result. The Information Age has unleashed a prosperity that in turn places a premium on less rational sensibilities – beauty, spirituality, emotion. For companies and entrepreneurs, it’s no longer enough to create a product, a service, or an experience that’s reasonably priced and adequately functional. In an age of abundance, consumers demand something more. Check out your bathroom. If you’re like a few million Americans, you’ve got a Michael Graves toilet brush or a Karim Rashid trash can that you bought at Target. Try explaining a designer garbage pail to the left side of your brain! Or consider illumination. Electric lighting was rare a century ago, but now it’s commonplace. Yet in the US, candles are a $2 billion a year business – for reasons that stretch beyond the logical need for luminosity to a prosperous country’s more inchoate desire for pleasure and transcendence.

Liberated by this prosperity but not fulfilled by it, more people are searching for meaning. From the mainstream embrace of such once-exotic practices as yoga and meditation to the rise of spirituality in the workplace to the influence of evangelism in pop culture and politics, the quest for meaning and purpose has become an integral part of everyday life. And that will only intensify as the first children of abundance, the baby boomers, realize that they have more of their lives behind them than ahead. In both business and personal life, now that our left-brain needs have largely been sated, our right-brain yearnings will demand to be fed.

As the forces of Asia, automation, and abundance strengthen and accelerate, the curtain is rising on a new era, the Conceptual Age. If the Industrial Age was built on people’s backs, and the Information Age on people’s left hemispheres, the Conceptual Age is being built on people’s right hemispheres. We’ve progressed from a society of farmers to a society of factory workers to a society of knowledge workers. And now we’re progressing yet again – to a society of creators and empathizers, pattern recognizers, and meaning makers.

But let me be clear: The future is not some Manichaean landscape in which individuals are either left-brained and extinct or right-brained and ecstatic – a land in which millionaire yoga instructors drive BMWs and programmers scrub counters at Chick-fil-A. Logical, linear, analytic thinking remains indispensable. But it’s no longer enough.

To flourish in this age, we’ll need to supplement our well-developed high tech abilities with aptitudes that are “high concept” and “high touch.” High concept involves the ability to create artistic and emotional beauty, to detect patterns and opportunities, to craft a satisfying narrative, and to come up with inventions the world didn’t know it was missing. High touch involves the capacity to empathize, to understand the subtleties of human interaction, to find joy in one’s self and to elicit it in others, and to stretch beyond the quotidian in pursuit of purpose and meaning.

Developing these high concept, high touch abilities won’t be easy for everyone. For some, the prospect seems unattainable. Fear not (or at least fear less). The sorts of abilities that now matter most are fundamentally human attributes. After all, back on the savannah, our caveperson ancestors weren’t plugging numbers into spreadsheets or debugging code. But they were telling stories, demonstrating empathy, and designing innovations. These abilities have always been part of what it means to be human. It’s just that after a few generations in the Information Age, many of our high concept, high touch muscles have atrophied. The challenge is to work them back into shape.

Want to get ahead today? Forget what your parents told you. Instead, do something foreigners can’t do cheaper. Something computers can’t do faster. And something that fills one of the nonmaterial, transcendent desires of an abundant age. In other words, go right, young man and woman, go right.

Adapted from A Whole New Mind: Moving from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age, copyright © by Daniel H. Pink, to be published in March by Riverhead Books. Printed with permission of the publisher.
Contributing editor Daniel H. Pink (dp@danpink.com) wrote about Gross National Happiness in issue 12.12.

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/13.02/brain.html?tw=wn_tophead_6

Stress Management & Voice

Written by : Evelyne Brink © 2006 – Also known as Diva Eva.  Evelyne is a gifted singer and an amazing voice coach.  She has worked all over the world and holds workshops and seminars on voice as a medium of strength.

Dealing with relationship issues, money problems or family complications, we can all identify plenty sources of stress.

We can spend hours discussing how that was different in the old days when life was more structured by the roles and traditions and nostalgically sigh as we see that it is simpler to be told what to do.

I haven’t met many people who claim to be stress free, most people I deal with complain about having too much stress, suffer from stress related illnesses or symptoms, such as irritable bowels, mood swings. Fatigue etc. I am convinced that stress has existed even in the good old days, but it may have been known under different names.

Being stressed has become a life-style and I have experienced this first hand. Good stress and bad stress, I have felt the kick and I know tension. I heard the “relax a bit, take it easy, and don’t be so hard on yourself” too often, but I see that successful people tend to be busy. I have always prioritized being successful.

Taking action means doing things; doing things can become doing a lot of things.

Stress also seems to offer a sense of validation and provides us with a feel-good factor of being busy ( can you hear that:” main thing is your keeping busy”)

Stress seems to act like caffeine, giving you the kick that makes you feel alert. You get nervous on it, you feel more nervous without it. I have thrived on the energy derived from my busyness which in turn leads to a higher breathing pattern, less rest, tense shoulders and no desire to do Yoga or any other relaxation thank you very much.

It feels hard to change because I found myself really enjoying this.

It is easy to associate this overtly busy life-style with our image of success and hence being slightly stressed can make us feel like we are on the way to reaching our goals. “There is loads’ going on at the moment. It’s all happening” Only when the wave of busyness recedes do we realize what it has left us with.

But don’t we all feel life gets a bit much at times, everybody gets tired, has low energy phases, surely everybody has it tough sometimes. Who am I to relax when I am young and energetic? Shouldn’t I rather use it while it lasts? Aren’t I meant to work hard, so that I deserve my success, my happiness and wealth I am trying to accumulate?

It was my experience in hospital that made me change my thinking Stomach cramps, that is not what I wanted and yet they were painfully real. So were the commitments for next week. Oops.

Do successful people really need stress? Does anybody really need stress? What makes it so hard to live in a balanced way? Do we have to get ill before we live healthily? Wouldn’t it be nice to have enough energy to enjoy what you’re doing, rather than running out of batteries all the time?

Stress is highly addictive and likely to self perpetuate.

However, lot of stress can be prevented by a little organizational effort. I observed a music manager who was under such stress that he postponed paying his bills; his account gave him grief as he had not moved funds in time, calls to the bank took up more time as was dealing with people complaining about missing funds on his account. He could hardly sleep at night because he felt so stressed he couldn’t switch off. All this could have been prevented so easily by taking the necessary action on time in the first place.

The effect of stress on the voice can be multiple: Tensions in the throat and neck area are more than common, leading to vocal restrictions or limitations.

Do you find it difficult to speak up and be heard without feeling vocal strain afterwards? Do you find speaking for a longer time makes your voice tired? Is your voice hoarse or croaky? Those are definite indicators for tensions in your throat musculature.

Supporting the voice is essential to keep the instrument healthy and strong especially when speaking up; learning how to project is a useful technique in speaking and singing.

However the tensions referred to tend to get in the way of accessing the supporting mechanisms.

A main part of my vocal training has been undoing tensions. As tensions are released in conjunction with voice exercise, your voice will feel and sound freer increasing in resonance and warmth.

At this point, a sound technique will be as useful as building your muscles is in sports promoting safe and long lasting vocal production.

Your voice however doesn’t just react to tension; it can help you release tension as well.Doesn’t it feel good to go: “ouch” when you hurt yourself to scream out a well articulated swearword in a well audible volume (**!?#***).

Have you ever tried humming through pain and feel it easing off? I have successfully “sung” through my wisdom teeth operation. It was a novelty to all but I insisted on using my walkman to guide me through my favorite songs I then howled along to according to the discomfort. The result:  surprised doctors and a good memory for me.

Vocalizing can also be easing period pains. I am a great believer in facing the facts, so when it hurts, I like matching it with sound. It’s good to have the appropriate surroundings for that; busy offices are not recommended; not even for a group session.

A vocal workout can make you feel very relaxed, centered and warm inside.

I always check the mental state of my clients at the beginning of a session to draw their attention to the difference they will be feeling. How many headaches and fatigues have vanished, bad moods dissolved, smiles emerge.

People often comment on me as being a happy person or having a good day when they hear me singing. But I go as far as to say: sing and you will find yourself having a good day!

The vibrations created by using your voice can serve as an internal massage, which relaxes organs and the mind.

The effects are also beneficial on the energetic level balancing your chakras (energy fields); you will feel literally in tune.

Now what can your voice do for you and your stress levels?

Simply and literally voicing concerns can do a whole lot for you.

But you don’t even need words: The power of an “ahhhh” has overwhelmed many: try sitting on a chair “aaahing” as you feel into your different body parts. It can even feel scary when you realize how much emotion you can feel coming up through your voice.

We know that your voice says a lot about your emotional state; an attuned ear can hear the way a person feels by listening to their voice quality. Why not turn this around and increase the tone quality to make you feel better?

Singing is a great way to release stress and getting in touch with your inner world. Awakening your intrinsic awareness leaves you feeling more alive and energetic.

Singing is not only for professionals. Everybody can sing. I am not saying it will sound great but it will feel good. There is a lot of expectation attached to singing in terms of sound, success and status. The good news: you don’t have to sing to use your voice, toning and chanting requires far less pitching than Bach cantatas.

Find yourself a safe place to experiment and play with your voice and to find out how much pleasure it can give you. There are workshops for non- singers as well as singers, sound healing and chanting groups.

Using your voice is a natural, inexpensive and highly effective way to feel good.

Feeling good releases stress, brings life back into perspective.

Go for it. Free your voice and sing out!

For more information and workshops please contact Evelyne Brink, International coach for voice and stage performance.

ABC coaching Achievement builds confidence.

0207 7511199

07905 933227

www.evelynebrink.com

www.abccoaching.co.uk

Soul Gardening, by Sahar Huneidi

Written by : Sahar Huneidi – Professional intuitive, columnist and writer. Her first book, “Your Future in A Coffee Cup, The Art of divining with Coffee Grounds”, is due Spring 07. Sahar teaches meditation, psychic development; and conducts workshops on tarot, the ancient art of coffee cup reading, and dream interpretation. She is editor and publisher of PS-Magazine.com.

You would imagine that if you were a ‘seer’, a psychic with a crystal clear ball, or your favourite deck of Tarot, the future would be at your fingers tips, there would be no problems, and life is as easy as pie. This is not the case!

Foretelling is half of the story, the other half is how to make things happen now that you do know they will. If you like, one half of the equation is ‘knowing’ the destination, the other half is having the map and charting the route. I often also mention to my clients that the future is like a garden; what grows in the future is dependant on what seeds we plant in the present. The future is really created in the experience of ‘now’.

‘Snap Shot’

Meditation for Harmony:

  • Put yourself in your special unique ‘pod’ of white light.
  • Breathe through the nose, and out through slightly parted lips. This helps relaxes your mind and outs you at ease.
  • Then, imagine that are taking a picture, a snap shot of what state you are in right now.
  • What do you see, and what do you feel about the person in the snap shot?
  • If you do not like the snap shot- change it and be that perfect ‘snap shot’ of the state you would like to be in.

Michael Brown, author of The Presence Process says “The quality of the seeds that we sow in any given moment is very different depending on whether we choose to react or to respond to our experiences.

Reacting to our experience means that we are making our decisions based on what we think happened to us yesterday and what we think may happen to us tomorrow.

We are only responding to our experience when we make choices based on what is happening to us right here, right now. It is only possible to respond to our experiences when we unlearn the behaviours and belief systems that lead us into reaction.”

Practising being in the now is what helps us do this ‘unlearning’. It is about holding our attention in the present and being mindful of our own thoughts, emotions and actions (before we take them). It is about observing our self and taking care of ‘that self’. Once we understand ourselves better, we would be better able to understand others better- making our life a little easier!

Just for now, focus on yourself, on being in this present moment. Forget for a few minutes your obligations, or other people’s expectations of you; or indeed your expectations as to what should happen.

If you are stressed, remember that within chaos, there is harmony. Think of the Yin Yang image, which is the symbol of the state of balance: where the two principals are in harmony, but also, within each principle is the seed of the other. Perhaps your ‘stressful’ or less-than-ideal situation is only trying to reflect to you what is harmony is.

Pointers to Being in the now

Jot down your answers, as you ask yourself:

  • Who am I? Describe yourself in few words, as someone you might you know in your life.
  • I am happiest when I am…?
  • What I really want at this point in my life is…..?
  • Consider repeating an affirmation to help you re-enforce your intention and new beliefs, for example: “I choose to use the power within my mind to remain peaceful and calm at all times”.

Note that quote

“The Presence Process is not about changing the nature of what the stars have marked on our forehead, hands, and feet. It is about waking into the fullest potential of each moment that is already destined. It is about responding to our life as it is unfolding right now and not reacting to it as if something else was supposed to be happening” Michael Brown, author of The Presence Process

Further info

Listen to Sahar’s inspirational podcasts, visit www.podcasts4life.com ,
psmagazine.com

Would You Pass The Coffee Jar Test?

Amanda Wise – A qualified Life Coach & NLP Practitioner who specialises in career coaching, work life balance, parenting and stress management.  Amanda also runs seminars and workshops on various self development topics.  © 2006

A wonderful visual trick I have used in a few of my talks and seminars is the “coffee jar test” – have you heard of it?  I start by emptying all the coffee granules out of the jar. Then I fill the jar with “rocks” by which I mean decent sized stones, right up to the top.

Most people agree at this point that the jar is full. But then out comes a bag of tiny little stones, which can be dropped in and around the “rocks”, right up to the top.

Most people agree again now that the jar is full But then the fun part involves putting most of the coffee granules back in the jar. It’s amazing how many of them fit in. Just when you thought the jar was full, you can fit in more tiny little “bits” – sometimes I use sand to make it less messy!

The fascinating thing is that this is a very good illustration of how we fill our lives. Far too often we fill our lives with “sand” – you know the everyday “stuff” we all have to do, like checking our e-mails, the dash into town for something we forgot last week, laundry, washing up, fixing the car, grocery shopping, cleaning the windows.

And we don’t manage to fit in the “rocks” or the things that really matter to us, satisfy us, fulfil us in life and make us really feel we’re living a life of purpose but with fun and freedom too.

But if we prioritise the “rocks” and ensure they are allocated time in our busy schedules, and that time is protected for the truly important things in our lives, quality time with loved ones, learning a new skill, creating something new or whatever it is that feeds and nourishes us, then the smaller stones and the “sand” still somehow fits around them.

So how about spending 10 minutes flicking through your diary and thinking about whether you would “pass the coffee jar test”?

Do you generally find space for your “rocks” or do you allow your life to be filled with “sand”?

If you’d like help with this or with any other aspect of looking after your personal and professional life, and ensuring you’re living a life that is “true to you” please contact me for a free 20 minute consultation on how we can work together.

That can include working out how you can find the time in your schedule to work out a strategy to improve your life.

Wouldn’t that be a great “rock” to put in your jar?

Amanda Wise can be contacted on:

Tel:0845 226 2816

Email: Amanda@WiseLifeCoaching.com

Website: www.WiseLifeCoaching.com

Taming The Party Animal Inside

William Thackeray very eloquently once said:

“Good humour may be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

Indeed society is a place where we wear things such as stylish clothes, jewelry, make up and even an attitude to show what we want people to see, hear and feel.  After all, it is nobody’s business to know what goes on in our minds.  Trends, social competition and gossip seem to fuel the collective mind when people gather these days.  Sadly parties and social gatherings start to feel like straight jackets that can stress us to the point of a panic attack.  It doesn’t have to be like this at all.  Ultimately, every penny that is spent in the world today is on feeling good, so what good is it if we don’t enjoy things we like.  This includes get togethers, parties or even people watching in cafés.  As I’ve mentioned previously in one of my articles: If you like something, make sure you enjoy it.  Every one of us is a member of society, and we have the power to make constructive and positive changes to make it a better place.

I can delve into a deep and philosophical article about society and how it all works, but that can be dull, boring and frankly a bit too academic.  Instead, I’d like to offer you tools and techniques that can help you become more sociable, a better communicator and an overall charming guest or even host (or hostess).

1)     Minimize your mobile use if you are at a party, a gathering or simply hanging out with a few friends in a restaurant.  Be polite enough to give people you’re with the attention and courtesy they disserve.  I recently met a friend for a coffee after not seeing him for a while, and he had two mobiles that he continuously fiddled with the entire hour we were together.  I was appalled at his manners.  If you have to take an IMPORTANT call, simply excuse yourself from the table and be as brief as you can.  Otherwise, tell the caller that it’s not a convenient time and that you’ll call them back as soon as you get the chance.

2)    When conversing – make sure you sustain good eye contact and an open posture.  It welcomes the dialogue and you come across as an easy person to talk to.

3)     Always smile when entering a room with people in it.  No need to laugh, just a gentle smile (without teeth) that lifts your face and welcomes conversation can go a long way.  Remember, a smile is contagious; people will always reciprocate it, thus lifting the mood to a lighter and more relaxed one.

4)     People generally love to talk about themselves, so what better way to come across as a charming communicator than asking open questions and listening with your ears, eyes and body.  Remember your body language, eye contact and posture say much more than your mouth – so be mindful of that as you listen.  Believe it or not, once the other person finishes answering, they will mirror the etiquette you demonstrated back to you with sincerity.

5)     Avoid talking about religion and politics – you’ll live longer.

6)     Be a good guest.  Help discretely, this can include passing the plates at dinner time or even talking to lonely looking guests on their own who might feel neglected.  Feel involved and help improve the mood if you can.

7)     Be a good host.  Smile as you make everyone feel welcomed.  Make sure you introduce people to each other and mention their common denominators.  For example: “John I’d like you to meet Andrew. Andrew is also an engineer and an avid skier ”.  Something like that, so your guests can meet and chat with ease at your party.  Also, make sure you make everyone feel as special as the next guest – it’s all about harmony.

8)     If you run into someone who you wish you hadn’t.  Walk up and say hello, keep the conversation short and slightly formal.  Then move on talking to others as you sustain that radiant smile.

9)     Brush up on that sense of humor, but avoid being the clown.  People love a good laugh, so give them a good laugh, just make sure you don’t suffocate them by seeking all the attention.

10) Go prepared with things to say.  Sometimes people get tongue tied and run out of things to talk about.  Keep up with the news, travel and interesting facts you may have come across, and use them when helpful.  If you run out of things to say, ask interesting questions or re-direct the dialogue and comment on  their latest bag and how pretty it is.  Compliments are an excellent way to make people feel good; they also demonstrate how humble and sweet you are which can exhibit your refinement as a socialite.

11)  If you walk into a gathering and find no one you know; relax, smile, introduce yourself and ask where the host is.  People get together to enjoy and have fun – you can always set the example.

12)   Show your appreciation and gratitude as a guest. Be specific about your compliments and let them know you’ve noticed the attention to detail.  For example: “I absolutely loved your Tabouleh, it was so tasty” or “I love the mood you’ve created with those candles, it’s so welcoming”.  The key is to be sincere, and not fake.  Your host has worked hard at making their gathering a success, so let them know you’re grateful.

These techniques are designed to minimize friction, enhance harmony and generate improvement in your social life, so make sure you have fun with them by remaining flexible and relaxed.  A party is not necessarily just the opportunity to flaunt your latest fashion item, but an opportunity to meet new people, enjoy yourself and leave with some degree of fulfillment.  As Malcolm Forbes once said: “Presence is more than just being there”.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment and delete your fears to live a freer life.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Listen to Interview with Taymour Qabazard

When Panic Attacks

Written by : Adrian Brown – A personal development consultant who specialises in eliminating phobias and panic attacks. Adrian is a fully certified Hypnotherapist, a Master Practitioner of NLP, a practitioner of EFT/Emotrance and personal development coach.  Adrian also holds seminars and workshops regularly, and has clients nationally and internationally.

How many times have you heard the term “panic attack”? Over the years the term has increased in usage as more and more people are suffering from overwhelming panic and are being driven to despair. In my client work, I’m often asked “When panic attacks, what’s the defence?”

So what is a panic attack?

Although there are lots of clinical definitions, in client work I’ve heard the term used to describe symptoms ranging from mild anxiety to nauseous hyperventilation. Sometimes leaving the client struggling to breathe, the symptoms spiral on top of themselves creating even more panic.

Often the symptoms cause clients to stay at home, unwilling to leave the house “just in case” they have a panic attack. In their attempt to reduce their symptoms, clients often make things worse by staying within the comfort zone of their home. The thought of going outside becomes fraught with the danger that an episode of panic will overwhelm them.

When I see a client, they often describe me as their last resort, at the end of their tether not knowing what else to do.

So what triggers the panic?

I’ve had clients reporting a diverse spectrum of situations ranging from supermarket queues to traffic lights, all causing panic in one form or another.

Underneath the panic there are many neurological and physiological processes going on, few of which I’m knowledgeable enough or qualified to mention.

The basic flight or flight response comes into play with the body releasing adrenaline in copious amounts to deal with a perceived threat, this overload being the cause of the nauseousness or shaking.

My interest is in the client’s perception of the threat. What is it that causes the release of adrenaline in the first place?

In my approach to the treatment of panic attacks, I often use the NLP technique of eliciting the internal strategy, finding the mental process that the client goes through to produce their panic.

After asking the client what I have to do in my mind to produce the feelings of panic, I am often told exactly what process to go through to produce panic. When I run this strategy through my own head I can usually  get some anxiety going and the whole problem becomes very obvious.

For example, I am often told that in order for the panic to start I would have to ask myself a question like “what would happen if I was suddenly to take ill right now?”.

Since the brain has a very useful habit of answering every question put to it, scary pictures often pop up in the client’s head, followed by bad feelings, which are then reinforced by even scarier questions. This process loops around and around until the client either makes the questions so ridiculous that they stop, or they are distracted by something else. Throughout this process, adrenaline is building up and producing the feelings of panic.

This by no means is the only way people can produce panic but I’ve found it’s a very common one. Merely making a client aware of this process that they often perform in microseconds often results in them getting control of the process. Altering the tone of their questioning internal voice can also short circuit the process well before the adrenaline has flooded the system and the panic is unleashed.

Adding a bit of humour also works a treat, you can’t panic while you’re laughing.

My own personal favourite, which I use when I find myself becoming anxious, is to remember Dad’s Army’s Corporal Jones shouting “Don’t panic Mr. Mainwaring, they don’t like it up em!”. That tends to shift my state!

So you may be reading this thinking well that’s all well and good for other people but that doesn’t sound like me. How true, this doesn’t apply to everyone but we haven’t finished yet.

Meridian Energy Therapy in whatever form its presented can also relieve panic attacks. Thought Field Therapy (TFT) has very high success rates with clients, often used as the first line of approach by therapists. Simply tapping points on energy meridians in a specific sequence can eliminate the panic symptoms and deal with the cause. Any good TFT practitioner is able to quickly and easily run clients through this process.

So there’s hope yet for the panic attack sufferer. If you are presently having any sort of problem with anxiety I highly recommend finding an experienced practitioner of NLP or Meridian Energy Therapy and release yourself from the grip of this very irrational but very real condition.

Copyright : Adrian Brown © 2007

Contact Details:

Adrian Brown ACMA C.P.AMT C.Hyp

www.beyondlimits.co.uk

Tel: 0870 478 9145 or 07908 465772

Email: info@beyondlimits.co.uk

Motherhood Blues

One of the most life changing experiences that any woman goes through is childbirth and motherhood.  It’s almost a divine reminder than there is an awesome natural power at work.  It’s also a time for celebration and happiness as everyone cherishes the new family member and drains the battery on their digital cameras.  It’s a special time that brings the family (extended or otherwise) together and strengthens the emotional bonds between them as they plan the months ahead with excitement and bliss.  But frankly speaking, is it all bliss and laughs?

Unfortunately the answer is often no.  There is a horrible truth that we seem to neglect at such a life altering time.  Changes that we may or may not be aware of are happening on many levels.  The arrival of this promising new life brings with it new plans, new responsibilities, essential shifts in the customary way of life, not to mention the biggest shift of all – the mother’s hormone equilibrium which can result in what is commonly known as Post Natal Depression (PND).  PND has been around as long as we can remember it, and we used to arrogantly brush it under the carpet as though it was non-existent – a myth.  Only recently, thanks to more awareness by celebrities such as Brooke Shields, articles, TV interviews, reality shows, the web and woman’s journals, have we come to acknowledge its dark presence.  Bluntly speaking, depression is absolutely terrible.  For the sufferer everything becomes negative, loved ones intolerable, they want to be alone, cry, scream, break things, self harm, withdraw and their minds start to harbour thoughts of detachment and hate.  Mothers with PND can even look at their child and feel absolutely nothing towards them.  In some rare cases, there have been mothers who harm their newborn and even murder them.  Since I now have your attention, it’s only but fair to say that PND is a very serious condition that must be addressed as soon as any of the symptoms arise.

In a simplified nutshell, PND stems from a sudden shift in the hormone levels that affect the chemical balance of the brain.  When a woman is pregnant, her body adjusts in many ways to accommodate the new life she is nurturing inside her.  After birth there’s a quick and abrupt shift in the body’s condition, and the hormonal equilibrium falls out of balance.  The mother then gets a drop in her Serotonin, Dopamine and Endorphin levels and a rise in her Cortisol which research has shown can result in depression.  In times past, “doctors” would have diagnosed madness, and dismissed it as a figment of her imagination.  Thankfully, attitudes have changed these days and options are many.  Though I’m personally not a fan of anti-depressants, in the right situations they are tremendously helpful.  PND is a temporary phase that with the proper care and steps can be overcome.  What anti-depressants do is alter the brain chemistry to correct the imbalances caused by pregnancy and childbirth.

The following are some of the ways to spot Post Natal Depression:

1)    Listen and don’t just hear what the mother says about how she feels.  If she’s abnormally sleepy and tired all the time, it could be a sign of PND.

2)    If the mother seems withdrawn from everyone – especially her loved ones.

3)    If she doesn’t demonstrate much affection or a strong bond with her newborn.

4)    Sudden fluctuations in her overall mood and state.

5)    Crying at the slightest discomfort and being overly emotional.

These are just a few of the many signs that exist, and the more we’re aware, the better we can truly help and correct this delicate period.

It’s important that a physician, clinical therapist or psychiatrist is contacted right away to look at the options available.  In some cases, if the family surrounds her and showers her with love and laughter, this phase can be overcome with more ease. Laughter is crucial as it contributes to the production of serotonin.  Gentle exercise is another important factor to consider, predominantly because it helps the production of endorphins, one of the “happy hormones”.  Exercise needn’t be hard work.  As soon as the new mother feels able, she could take a gentle stroll with her newborn, which would also be a good opportunity to show off the fruits of her “labour”!

Sadly, the recent rise in PND has been linked to our post modern lives of speed, stress and diminishing family unity and closeness.  The excitement and love must not be ceased after 10 days of childbirth, but carried on in shifts for a good six months, if not longer.  The busier the house and more affection around, the easier it will be for the mother to adjust.  Childbirth and motherhood is a very delicate time that must be shared and divided on all the loved ones and not just the mother.  PND can be beaten and defeated, so do keep an open mind to observe any danger signs and act right away.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Helpful Links:

www.pni.org.uk

www.postnataldepression.com

www.mind.org.uk

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

Zooming Out Zooming In

Our sense of sight is indeed an underappreciated gift we sometimes take for granted.  We not only see the world and absorb it through our eyes, but we also store a lot of what we learn and experience by creating a database of pictures and films that we run and re-run over and over again.  Think of the last place you went on vacation, your first kiss or the day your employer said: “Great, can you start Monday?” Such memories are stored in our minds, and we can always access them by simply thinking about the experience and focusing on them with the desired intensity.  This unfortunately also applies to unpleasant memories. You can be in the middle of traffic thinking about your favourite meal with such focus that you start to salivate and almost smell it.  This reiterates that the human mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination.

I recently had a Client who had a severe phobia of spiders, and as soon as I would bring up the subject of spiders, she’d burst into tears of fright.  We both knew there was no spider in the room, but her ability to visualise was so sharply tuned, that her imagination overrided common sense and logic.  In fact we as humans are exactly like that.  We think, we imagine, we visualise and then we act.  Our behaviours are seldom governed by sense and logic.  The fact of the matter is that our behaviour is dictated by our emotions, which in turn are fuelled by our imagination.  A classic stereotypical example is a woman who has credit card debts, and cannot resist the sexy pair of shoes in the window.  This also applies to men with a gadget fetish who just have to have the latest gizmo.  When we see a nice pair of shoes in a magazine, we create a happy mental picture of ourselves looking sexy and confident as we walk down the street wearing those shoes.  The emotions stirred are then so pleasing and intense that we cannot wait to buy the pair of shoes to achieve the mental image we previously created in our mind.

Imagination is such a fundamental driving force that for anything to happen in reality, it must first happen in our imagination and ability to visualize.  If you take a moment and look around the room you’re in; every single thing in your room was first created in someone’s imagination.  I recently read a wonderful piece of advice that said: “Don’t just see with your eyes, but see through your eyes.”

“I couldn’t see the wood for the trees” is another wonderful saying that brushes up on our visual modality.  There are lots and lots of times that we get so caught up in our patterns of thinking that we fail to see other options at our disposal. We only see what’s in front of us and not what’s ahead of us.  Time and time again, I’ve had Clients who feel they’re stuck in a rut when in truth the problem lied in their visual perspective.  Unsurprisingly, this limited pattern of thinking creates stress, anxiety, lack of direction and feeling confused about what to do when faced with a challenging situation.  Furthermore, we end up loosing direction and focus about the overall bigger picture.  In other words, “what you see is what you get” and that is entirely dependent on what YOU decide to focus on.  We tend to focus on the worse case scenario in fear of it happening, yet the rule of thumb is: whatever you resist, you persist.  We visualise what could go wrong, and paralyze ourselves with fear.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is also the simplest thing.  Since we do visualise and imagine before we take action, it is necessary to zoom out of a current situation in order to get a clearer picture of where we were, where we are and were we wish to go with our lives.  As soon as that clarity is gained, our unconscious will begin to shed light on our dilemma and offer a variety of options that we wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.  It is only then that we can zoom back in to take the actions needed.

Being in the position I am, I don’t have the luxury or right to tell my Clients what to do.  I work under the notion that my Clients already know what they want and how to get it, they’re just unaware of that fact due to their habits and thinking patters.  By shifting their perspective ever so slightly through a series of zooming out, zooming in questions, my Clients gain the most paramount cornerstone to constructive change – awareness.

Try This:

Think of something that makes you feel frustrated and unsure of what to do next. Now ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.

  • What is the real problem?
  • What possible options can I consider that will serve my best interest?
  • What is the best option?
  • What do I need to do less of?
  • What do I need to do more of?
  • What do I need to stop doing?
  • What do I need to start doing?

These are just a few of the many questions and approaches one can take.  The more honest you are with yourself the quicker clarity you’ll gain.  Let me also emphasise the importance of doing what you truly want rather than what your society, colleagues or family expects.  It is vital that you consider your own interest and well being when making an important decision.  A recent Client of mine was very confused about his career options.  I simply asked him to describe himself working and being very happy and exited about it.  My question was, “don’t tell me what you’re doing; all I want you to do is describe the nature of your work”.  Within 10 seconds he began to tell me exactly what he was doing, the type of people he worked with, the hours, right down to the location and industry.  We carried on planning and setting little goals for him to undertake to achieve the life he wanted.  When we decide from the heart, and understand the reasons why, the “how?” part becomes the easiest.

Sometimes it’s necessary to zoom out in order to zoom back in with the clarity to take the right decision and action.  Think of a camera that zooms out to provide the viewer with the bigger picture of what they’re seeing, only to zoom back in with more awareness and understanding.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net