Author Archives: Coach Taymour

Generation Phobia?

June 14, 2010

Generation Phobia?

By definition, a phobia is an irrational and excessive fear of something or a situation.  As I’ve mentioned before, there are only two instincts that we are born with: 1) Our sudden reaction to a loud BANG, or sound; and 2) Our immediate effort to regain balance when we fall or stumble.  Everything else is learned from our environment, and naturally this includes phobias.

Something that truly amazed me years ago, is when I found out that when the movie Jaws came out in 1975, people who were hundreds of miles away from the ocean were suddenly afraid of taking a bath.  Though it sounds ridiculous, when our unconscious (or imagination) gets infected with overwhelming fear, it generalises that fear and generates it into a phobia as a defence mechanism.  This results in extreme irrational and life altering phobias.  They are considered to be irrational because it all happens in our very creative imagination which is irrelevant to actual reality.  As the old saying goes, imagination is far more powerful than will power.

The great news is that since phobias are learned, they can be unlearned.  Thanks to Neuro Linguistic Programming and Thought Field Therapy, most phobias can be cured today within an hour.  These are two mind technologies that I regularly use, which have had positive life altering results for many of my Clients.  In fact, I recently helped a Client who had a terrible fear of flying and here are her words after her flights:

“Just landed Taymour, the flight was much more pleasurable than usual.  What a difference, thank you !”  [Flying Phobia - outbound]

“Another enjoyable flight, can’t believe it ! Thanks again” [Flying Phobia - inbound]

All that shift in less than an hour.  Here’s what another Client with severe Claustrophobia said after a 20 minute session:

“I was so completely overwhelmed that a problem I had suffered from on a daily basis for 17 years could be cured in 10 minutes.  After leaving you my children had 4 rides in the lift with their mum, something they had never done before Saturday, in their lives!!! I can not thank you enough.”

Times have surely changed, and severe phobias that have held us back from progress and happiness can be cured in an hour.  As recently demonstrated by Paul McKenna on GMTV (whom I assist on his seminars).

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now and free yourself, or a loved one from their phobias.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

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Frame It Well

June 11, 2010

”A problem well stated is a problem half solved”. Charles Kettering.

One of the quickest and most powerful ways to change a negative pattern of thinking is to change its context in such a way that it becomes comical or even positive. This NLP concept is called Re-Framing. In other words, change the frame and the picture will also change. We hear this all the time in everyday conversation – “Look at the bright side….” Or “Well, at least you don’t have to…..” and “…I know, just bare in mind that it could have been worse.”

The best way I can explain this is to ask you to think of a situation or something that discomforts you slightly. Now, take a few moments and challenge yourself gently to focus on another facet of the situation. A facet that may direct your mind in new avenues that can change your state for the better. A great reminder is the old debate whether the glass is half full or half empty.

I recently had a Client who absolutely and utterly despised her son-in-law. She feels that he is a square peg in the round hole that is her small and close knit family. She passionately expressed her anger at the fact that whenever he comes over for a visit, he eats the meal he is cooked and then he plants himself into her (my Client’s) favourite chair and naps. She then went on and on at her dismay and anxiety about the upcoming Christmas dinner. She was so focused and tense that I immediately resorted to re-framing to change her hard wired thinking.

I smiled and replied: “…..he may sit in your favourite chair and doze off, but at least you don’t have to talk to him which I’m sure is a nice thought for you. Better still, you can hang out with your daughter and your grandchildren by the fire place and have some laughs and have them all to yourself without him interrupting.” Not only did her overall state improve, but she started giggling from the belly and appreciated my point.


It’s very easy to get tangled up into a one way stream of thinking that can ruin your day and prevent you from taking notice of the positive angles, however small, that the situation presents. I can go on and turn this article into an academic and frankly boring explanation, but I’d rather not. Let me finish off with some examples that can help you appreciate what re-framing can do.

1)“I got laid off from work last week.”

“Well, at least you can add the experience to your CV which can make it easier getting a better job.”

2) “Winter’s here and it’s getting cold again”.

“Yeah, it gives us a great change to dress up and look smarter.”

3) “My boss has given me so much work to do this week…”

“Well, he must have a lot of faith in you.”

Thought is energy, and it’s best to change your negative thoughts right away before they turn into words and then actions. You may begin to realise that by re-framing some thoughts in the coming days, you can change your outlook and feel better. 

“Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.”

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Learn how to improve your thought patterns. ”One of the quickest and most powerful ways to change a negative pattern of thinking is to change its context in such a way that it becomes comical or even positive.  This NLP concept is called Re-Framing.”  Read more…
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Taming The Party Animal Inside

June 11, 2010

William Thackeray very eloquently once said:

“Good humour may be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

Indeed society is a place where we wear things such as stylish clothes, jewelry, make up and even an attitude to show what we want people to see, hear and feel.  After all, it is nobody’s business to know what goes on in our minds.  Trends, social competition and gossip seem to fuel the collective mind when people gather these days.  Sadly parties and social gatherings start to feel like straight jackets that can stress us to the point of a panic attack.  It doesn’t have to be like this at all.  Ultimately, every penny that is spent in the world today is on feeling good, so what good is it if we don’t enjoy things we like.  This includes get togethers, parties or even people watching in cafés.  As I’ve mentioned previously in one of my articles: If you like something, make sure you enjoy it.  Every one of us is a member of society, and we have the power to make constructive and positive changes to make it a better place.

I can delve into a deep and philosophical article about society and how it all works, but that can be dull, boring and frankly a bit too academic.  Instead, I’d like to offer you tools and techniques that can help you become more sociable, a better communicator and an overall charming guest or even host (or hostess).

1)     Minimize your mobile use if you are at a party, a gathering or simply hanging out with a few friends in a restaurant.  Be polite enough to give people you’re with the attention and courtesy they disserve.  I recently met a friend for a coffee after not seeing him for a while, and he had two mobiles that he continuously fiddled with the entire hour we were together.  I was appalled at his manners.  If you have to take an IMPORTANT call, simply excuse yourself from the table and be as brief as you can.  Otherwise, tell the caller that it’s not a convenient time and that you’ll call them back as soon as you get the chance.

2)    When conversing – make sure you sustain good eye contact and an open posture.  It welcomes the dialogue and you come across as an easy person to talk to.

3)     Always smile when entering a room with people in it.  No need to laugh, just a gentle smile (without teeth) that lifts your face and welcomes conversation can go a long way.  Remember, a smile is contagious; people will always reciprocate it, thus lifting the mood to a lighter and more relaxed one.

4)     People generally love to talk about themselves, so what better way to come across as a charming communicator than asking open questions and listening with your ears, eyes and body.  Remember your body language, eye contact and posture say much more than your mouth – so be mindful of that as you listen.  Believe it or not, once the other person finishes answering, they will mirror the etiquette you demonstrated back to you with sincerity.

5)     Avoid talking about religion and politics – you’ll live longer.

6)     Be a good guest.  Help discretely, this can include passing the plates at dinner time or even talking to lonely looking guests on their own who might feel neglected.  Feel involved and help improve the mood if you can.

7)     Be a good host.  Smile as you make everyone feel welcomed.  Make sure you introduce people to each other and mention their common denominators.  For example: “John I’d like you to meet Andrew. Andrew is also an engineer and an avid skier ”.  Something like that, so your guests can meet and chat with ease at your party.  Also, make sure you make everyone feel as special as the next guest – it’s all about harmony.

8)     If you run into someone who you wish you hadn’t.  Walk up and say hello, keep the conversation short and slightly formal.  Then move on talking to others as you sustain that radiant smile.

9)     Brush up on that sense of humor, but avoid being the clown.  People love a good laugh, so give them a good laugh, just make sure you don’t suffocate them by seeking all the attention.

10) Go prepared with things to say.  Sometimes people get tongue tied and run out of things to talk about.  Keep up with the news, travel and interesting facts you may have come across, and use them when helpful.  If you run out of things to say, ask interesting questions or re-direct the dialogue and comment on  their latest bag and how pretty it is.  Compliments are an excellent way to make people feel good; they also demonstrate how humble and sweet you are which can exhibit your refinement as a socialite.

11)  If you walk into a gathering and find no one you know; relax, smile, introduce yourself and ask where the host is.  People get together to enjoy and have fun – you can always set the example.

12)   Show your appreciation and gratitude as a guest. Be specific about your compliments and let them know you’ve noticed the attention to detail.  For example: “I absolutely loved your Tabouleh, it was so tasty” or “I love the mood you’ve created with those candles, it’s so welcoming”.  The key is to be sincere, and not fake.  Your host has worked hard at making their gathering a success, so let them know you’re grateful.

These techniques are designed to minimize friction, enhance harmony and generate improvement in your social life, so make sure you have fun with them by remaining flexible and relaxed.  A party is not necessarily just the opportunity to flaunt your latest fashion item, but an opportunity to meet new people, enjoy yourself and leave with some degree of fulfillment.  As Malcolm Forbes once said: “Presence is more than just being there”.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment and delete your fears to live a freer life.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Listen to Interview with Taymour Qabazard

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Motherhood Blues

June 11, 2010

One of the most life changing experiences that any woman goes through is childbirth and motherhood.  It’s almost a divine reminder than there is an awesome natural power at work.  It’s also a time for celebration and happiness as everyone cherishes the new family member and drains the battery on their digital cameras.  It’s a special time that brings the family (extended or otherwise) together and strengthens the emotional bonds between them as they plan the months ahead with excitement and bliss.  But frankly speaking, is it all bliss and laughs?

Unfortunately the answer is often no.  There is a horrible truth that we seem to neglect at such a life altering time.  Changes that we may or may not be aware of are happening on many levels.  The arrival of this promising new life brings with it new plans, new responsibilities, essential shifts in the customary way of life, not to mention the biggest shift of all – the mother’s hormone equilibrium which can result in what is commonly known as Post Natal Depression (PND).  PND has been around as long as we can remember it, and we used to arrogantly brush it under the carpet as though it was non-existent – a myth.  Only recently, thanks to more awareness by celebrities such as Brooke Shields, articles, TV interviews, reality shows, the web and woman’s journals, have we come to acknowledge its dark presence.  Bluntly speaking, depression is absolutely terrible.  For the sufferer everything becomes negative, loved ones intolerable, they want to be alone, cry, scream, break things, self harm, withdraw and their minds start to harbour thoughts of detachment and hate.  Mothers with PND can even look at their child and feel absolutely nothing towards them.  In some rare cases, there have been mothers who harm their newborn and even murder them.  Since I now have your attention, it’s only but fair to say that PND is a very serious condition that must be addressed as soon as any of the symptoms arise.

In a simplified nutshell, PND stems from a sudden shift in the hormone levels that affect the chemical balance of the brain.  When a woman is pregnant, her body adjusts in many ways to accommodate the new life she is nurturing inside her.  After birth there’s a quick and abrupt shift in the body’s condition, and the hormonal equilibrium falls out of balance.  The mother then gets a drop in her Serotonin, Dopamine and Endorphin levels and a rise in her Cortisol which research has shown can result in depression.  In times past, “doctors” would have diagnosed madness, and dismissed it as a figment of her imagination.  Thankfully, attitudes have changed these days and options are many.  Though I’m personally not a fan of anti-depressants, in the right situations they are tremendously helpful.  PND is a temporary phase that with the proper care and steps can be overcome.  What anti-depressants do is alter the brain chemistry to correct the imbalances caused by pregnancy and childbirth.

The following are some of the ways to spot Post Natal Depression:

1)    Listen and don’t just hear what the mother says about how she feels.  If she’s abnormally sleepy and tired all the time, it could be a sign of PND.

2)    If the mother seems withdrawn from everyone – especially her loved ones.

3)    If she doesn’t demonstrate much affection or a strong bond with her newborn.

4)    Sudden fluctuations in her overall mood and state.

5)    Crying at the slightest discomfort and being overly emotional.

These are just a few of the many signs that exist, and the more we’re aware, the better we can truly help and correct this delicate period.

It’s important that a physician, clinical therapist or psychiatrist is contacted right away to look at the options available.  In some cases, if the family surrounds her and showers her with love and laughter, this phase can be overcome with more ease. Laughter is crucial as it contributes to the production of serotonin.  Gentle exercise is another important factor to consider, predominantly because it helps the production of endorphins, one of the “happy hormones”.  Exercise needn’t be hard work.  As soon as the new mother feels able, she could take a gentle stroll with her newborn, which would also be a good opportunity to show off the fruits of her “labour”!

Sadly, the recent rise in PND has been linked to our post modern lives of speed, stress and diminishing family unity and closeness.  The excitement and love must not be ceased after 10 days of childbirth, but carried on in shifts for a good six months, if not longer.  The busier the house and more affection around, the easier it will be for the mother to adjust.  Childbirth and motherhood is a very delicate time that must be shared and divided on all the loved ones and not just the mother.  PND can be beaten and defeated, so do keep an open mind to observe any danger signs and act right away.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

Helpful Links:

www.pni.org.uk

www.postnataldepression.com

www.mind.org.uk

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

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Zooming Out Zooming In

June 11, 2010

Our sense of sight is indeed an underappreciated gift we sometimes take for granted.  We not only see the world and absorb it through our eyes, but we also store a lot of what we learn and experience by creating a database of pictures and films that we run and re-run over and over again.  Think of the last place you went on vacation, your first kiss or the day your employer said: “Great, can you start Monday?” Such memories are stored in our minds, and we can always access them by simply thinking about the experience and focusing on them with the desired intensity.  This unfortunately also applies to unpleasant memories. You can be in the middle of traffic thinking about your favourite meal with such focus that you start to salivate and almost smell it.  This reiterates that the human mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination.

I recently had a Client who had a severe phobia of spiders, and as soon as I would bring up the subject of spiders, she’d burst into tears of fright.  We both knew there was no spider in the room, but her ability to visualise was so sharply tuned, that her imagination overrided common sense and logic.  In fact we as humans are exactly like that.  We think, we imagine, we visualise and then we act.  Our behaviours are seldom governed by sense and logic.  The fact of the matter is that our behaviour is dictated by our emotions, which in turn are fuelled by our imagination.  A classic stereotypical example is a woman who has credit card debts, and cannot resist the sexy pair of shoes in the window.  This also applies to men with a gadget fetish who just have to have the latest gizmo.  When we see a nice pair of shoes in a magazine, we create a happy mental picture of ourselves looking sexy and confident as we walk down the street wearing those shoes.  The emotions stirred are then so pleasing and intense that we cannot wait to buy the pair of shoes to achieve the mental image we previously created in our mind.

Imagination is such a fundamental driving force that for anything to happen in reality, it must first happen in our imagination and ability to visualize.  If you take a moment and look around the room you’re in; every single thing in your room was first created in someone’s imagination.  I recently read a wonderful piece of advice that said: “Don’t just see with your eyes, but see through your eyes.”

“I couldn’t see the wood for the trees” is another wonderful saying that brushes up on our visual modality.  There are lots and lots of times that we get so caught up in our patterns of thinking that we fail to see other options at our disposal. We only see what’s in front of us and not what’s ahead of us.  Time and time again, I’ve had Clients who feel they’re stuck in a rut when in truth the problem lied in their visual perspective.  Unsurprisingly, this limited pattern of thinking creates stress, anxiety, lack of direction and feeling confused about what to do when faced with a challenging situation.  Furthermore, we end up loosing direction and focus about the overall bigger picture.  In other words, “what you see is what you get” and that is entirely dependent on what YOU decide to focus on.  We tend to focus on the worse case scenario in fear of it happening, yet the rule of thumb is: whatever you resist, you persist.  We visualise what could go wrong, and paralyze ourselves with fear.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is also the simplest thing.  Since we do visualise and imagine before we take action, it is necessary to zoom out of a current situation in order to get a clearer picture of where we were, where we are and were we wish to go with our lives.  As soon as that clarity is gained, our unconscious will begin to shed light on our dilemma and offer a variety of options that we wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.  It is only then that we can zoom back in to take the actions needed.

Being in the position I am, I don’t have the luxury or right to tell my Clients what to do.  I work under the notion that my Clients already know what they want and how to get it, they’re just unaware of that fact due to their habits and thinking patters.  By shifting their perspective ever so slightly through a series of zooming out, zooming in questions, my Clients gain the most paramount cornerstone to constructive change – awareness.

Try This:

Think of something that makes you feel frustrated and unsure of what to do next. Now ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.

  • What is the real problem?
  • What possible options can I consider that will serve my best interest?
  • What is the best option?
  • What do I need to do less of?
  • What do I need to do more of?
  • What do I need to stop doing?
  • What do I need to start doing?

These are just a few of the many questions and approaches one can take.  The more honest you are with yourself the quicker clarity you’ll gain.  Let me also emphasise the importance of doing what you truly want rather than what your society, colleagues or family expects.  It is vital that you consider your own interest and well being when making an important decision.  A recent Client of mine was very confused about his career options.  I simply asked him to describe himself working and being very happy and exited about it.  My question was, “don’t tell me what you’re doing; all I want you to do is describe the nature of your work”.  Within 10 seconds he began to tell me exactly what he was doing, the type of people he worked with, the hours, right down to the location and industry.  We carried on planning and setting little goals for him to undertake to achieve the life he wanted.  When we decide from the heart, and understand the reasons why, the “how?” part becomes the easiest.

Sometimes it’s necessary to zoom out in order to zoom back in with the clarity to take the right decision and action.  Think of a camera that zooms out to provide the viewer with the bigger picture of what they’re seeing, only to zoom back in with more awareness and understanding.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

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Spring Clean Your Life

June 11, 2010

The term Spring Clean is rooted in the idea of thoroughly cleaning your home to welcome the coming Spring equinox that triggers new life.  The start of Spring is a very special time indeed as the days will get longer, the weather will begin to shift, the grass will grow, the flowers will bloom and new life begins.  In fact, the Persians celebrate their new year at the exact moment of this equinox to celebrate new life.

This momentous occasion also provides us humans with another chance to go into our mental closets and filter out accumulated and unwanted junk from the past.  Past demons, bad habits, limiting beliefs that keep governing our actions, anxieties and insecurities are all acquired through our life experiences; we’re not born with them.  And, since our mind is no different to a computer that has been programmed with the software of life experiences, it can be re-programmed to think differently and consequently behave differently also.  Remember: Your Past Does NOT Equal Your Future.

Sometimes all that is needed is a tiny shift in our attitude, our outlook or our strategies to yield the biggest positive change that we’ve been longing for.  What we visualize in our mind, what we repeatedly say to ourselves and even our body language are all contributing factors to the subjective understanding of our lives.  Our reality is always subjective and can be unjust to the actuality that we neglect to appreciate.  As the famous NLP presupposition goes, the map is not the territory.  How you’ve unconsciously programmed yourself to understand the world around you is not always an accurate perspective - there are other facets to see the world through!  There’s a wonderful saying that I read the other day, it said: “We don’t see the world the way it is, but rather the way we are.”

Let me just finish off by saying that sometimes, it’s not just a spring clean that our internal and external lives require; but a careful and honest re-evaluation of where we’re going with our lives and the goals we’ve set.

“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits.  Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.”  Mahatma Gandhi


Until Next Time…….­Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now and book an appointment to kick start your Spring Clean.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

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Paul McKenna’s Easy Weight Loss System.

June 11, 2010

Dear Readers,

For those of you who know me, I never brag about anything unless it’s truly worth it.  Paul McKenna’s weight loss system is the finest in the world because it is NOT a diet, but an attitude to food and weight loss.  I’m not just saying this because I’m one of Paul’s assistants, but I’ve genuinely seen the positive shifts it creates in attendees.  We have success case after success case, because it simply works.

It’s a system that I always use with my clients (and of course give credit where credit is due), and it’s incredibly effective because of its simplicity and effectiveness.  So check it out today.

Regards,

Taymour

http://www.paulmckenna.com

* 7 X more effective than any diet.

* Change your relationship with food forever.

* Free yourself from guilt.

* Take control of the way you eat once and for all.

* Eat what you want and when you want it, and still lose weight.

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A Childish Lesson

June 11, 2010

About two weeks ago I was on a long haul flight heading back to London.  It wasn’t the smoothest of flights I had ever been on, we had some turbulence here and there which made many people uneasy.  In spite of the constipated looks on the passenger’s faces when we hit a bump or two, there was a little girl, no more than seven in the row behind me to my left; and every little bump, dip and sudden turbulence we went through made her laugh hysterically.  It was such a lively and sincere laughter that one couldn’t help but giggle along with her.  She didn’t just laugh, she screeched in excitement and joy – as though on a roller coaster at Disneyland.  Every laugh followed with an acknowledging look at her mom who was most amused and kept nodding with a smile; rather than plant fear and terror into her daughters fertile mind.  She was so innocently enjoying the turbulence which was normal to a certain extent on such a flight, that I felt genuinely inspired and reminded of how fear, anxiety and phobias are installed in us by our surrounding environment and upbringing.  Just imagine how this little girl would have reacted differently if her mom suddenly burst into tears of terror with every bump.

Yes!  We aren’t just taught how to hold our cutlery properly by our parents when we eat, we even learn how and when to be afraid.  The good news is that such installations can be deleted from our mental programming.  Just because our imagination can be creative, we don’t always have to be a slave to it.

Mark Twain once said: “I have been through some terrible things in my life, and some of them actually happened.” At the end of the day, we are the one’s who run and control our own minds and not the other way around.  Let us learn from this little girl and reconnect with our inner child and laugh hysterically in the face of fear.

Until Next Time……Live Don’t Just Exist.

Call now to book an appointment and delete your fears to live a freer life.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

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Is Fashion Losing its Style

June 11, 2010

Fashion has been a form of self expression and representation since time immemorial.  It is the way we choose to make a statement when we walk in a room and visually let others know of who we are.  Fashion has always interested, inspired and impressed us, for it is fuelled by creativity and ongoing breakthroughs in colour and design as well as culture.   The question that springs to mind as I look at the world around me is where has it all gone wrong ?

There seems to be a parasitical growth in so called fashion, but at the same time diminishing taste and style.  Branding has become an art form in our modern age to saturation point.  Names such as: Tommy Hilfiger, Versace, Armani, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Kline, Moschino and the ever popular Burberrys to name but a few are not necessarily creating stylish fashion in everything they do, yet we want their names on our T-shirts, jeans, socks and underwear.

It doesn’t just stop there I’m afraid.  Brand names don’t seem to give us enough, we now want new noses, breasts, botox injections, “Hip” and “Cool” this, that and the other as well.   Even self-help seminars such as NLP are becoming venues of showing off the new pair of Prada shoes and the recent nose job, yet hardly anyone seems to genuinely grasp the concepts of such courses.

I recently had a beautiful and very tasteful fiftyish year old client who came to see me because she wanted less stress in her life.  Within twenty minutes into the session, she confessed to wanting a face lift.  My immediate reply was: “Perhaps you can try smiling instead of a face lift”.  She lit up with a sincere smile and realised the point I was making.  She had felt so pressured by her peers that she started doubting her natural beauty.  She felt depressed, unimportant and quite isolated.

Remember, other people’s insecurity and self-doubt can be infectious, and before you notice it you can begin to lose you’re inner peace.   The fact of the matter was that my client had a very solid marriage, two wonderful healthy children and an overall well balanced life – not to mention a natural beauty that Catherine Denouve would envy.  Everyone around her was raving about the latest plastic surgery and the new Chopard watch because without realising it, the irony was that her friends were jealous of what she had.  As soon as she became aware of her blessings, she felt more comfortable and began to frown upon the idea of going under the knife.

Yves Saint Laurent once said: “ Fashions fade; but style is eternal”.  Well style is not what you wear, but how you wear what you do.  It is about tastefully combining ingredients of beauty and carrying them with confidence and charisma.  I have seen beautiful people think and behave as though they aren’t and one would hardly notice them; and other times a mediocre looking person may walk into the lobby of a hotel with such radiating confidence and charm that one cannot look away. Beauty is such a subjective and relative concept that it is difficult to have a universal definition for it.  Ultimately, beauty is about what makes you feel good, not what branding experts say.

Moreover, if you constantly look in the mirror and criticise yourself and how you look – no matter how much money you spend on the latest fashion accessory, or surgery – you will always feel low, and such spending will only blanket the true problem of low self-perception. Note that language to your mind is what food is to your body, and it is vital that you nurture yourself internally as well as externally.  If you wear a gorgeous Ben Delisi dress, sprinkle yourself with the finest DeBeers diamonds along with the most popular Beverly Hills nose job, then stand in front of the mirror and say: “Yuk, I don’t like what I see” – What is the point ?  Beauty comes from within, self-worth comes from within and so does confidence.  They are all solid vessels that will carry you well even if you wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.  As the saying goes: “The best vision is insight”, and to find the ultimate element of style one must work from the inside out.

Finally, question what you believe !  Everything you’ve come to believe around you is learned, and they can be unlearned and re-learned in a new and helpful way.  Ultimately we don’t see things as they are, rather as who we are, and it is up to us to create those little changes that will yield big results.  Sophia Lauren who is a true icon of beauty once said: “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful”.  Changing your beliefs about yourself and taking steps to create true and lasting happiness is the key to an internal fashion that will never go out of style.

Until Next Time……….Live, Don’t Just Exist!

Call now to book an appointment

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477

taymour@guiding-light.net

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Goals Goals Goals

June 11, 2010

OK.  We all know that a big part of helping yourself evolve and grow is to set goals.  In fact, success is the achievement of your goals.  Chances are, if you ask ten people to give you a definition for success, you’ll get ten different answers.  Success is highly subjective and everybody has their own version:  lots of money, a fancy car, a big house, a fulfilling career, a stable family, peace of mind etc..etc..

So let’s look at goals for a second.  What goals should you set?  Who says?  Are your goals dependent on your environment? Your social circles?  Or are your goals decided by your higher self who seeks to enrich your life and give it purpose and substance.  The most important question that has to be addressed when setting your goals is NOT “How can I achieve my goal?” but rather, “Why should I achieve this?”  Or “What would achieving this do for me?”

This question is the kernel of your untapped motivation, for it will reveal the driving force behind your chosen path.  Answering the “How” part of what you need to do, and deciding on the strategies of action are the easy part.

Here are a few points to consider when setting goals:

1)      Know who you truly are and make sure what you set out to do complements the real you.  Many of my clients change their goals after our initial session because they realise that they were trying to be someone other that their true self.  That path is always doomed.  Just be yourself and set goals that are congruent with your values and moral compass.

2)      It’s much better to aim for a “good enough” result, rather than a “perfect” one. The “good enough” result usually ends up being better than the perfect one, particularly if our quest for perfection has stopped us from producing any result at all.

3)      Create a running movie in your mind, and see your goal happening.  For something to happen in your real world it must first happen in your imaginary world.

4)      Approach failure as life’s feedback on what not to do.  If you become more mindful of this, you will also become more flexible towards your options and try every possible way until you achieve what you set out to do.  If your strategy and approach is failing, you’re NOT.  Simply change your strategy until it starts happening for you.

5)      Break down your goals into easy to do daily tasks that can add up.  Remember, little changes yield big results.  “A jug fills drop by drop” The Buddha.

Until Next Time……….Live, Don’t Just Exist!

Call now to book an appointment and set the right goals for YOU.

Tel:  +44 (0)207 602 5477  taymour@guiding-light.net

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